Are Moslems terrorists?

We had been discussing the issue lately with some of my Christian friends. & it absolutely amazed me how wrong the world interpret some basic rules of Islam. & self-acclaimed Moslems do help that idea! They threaten & terrorize the mass who had nothing to harm them.
Islam basically says if anyone attacked you, you must fight against them, either that or if you’re threatened. There is no such rule as to attack street done to Islam? innocent people! What harm had people in the
The point is that most of these self-acclaimed Moslems firmly believe that west government had done a lot of harm trying to isolate Moslems. Yet I don’t see why they punish innocent civilians instead of the powerful government ruling their lives!
Where is the mercy Islam order for us to practice? Islam says love your neighbors! & we believe in all the prophets who had been before Muhammad & we believe in all the religions before Islam.Why would we want to hurt others? We’re not terrorists! Believe me… it’s the hardliners who never understand Islam. I’m sorry for all the hurt they brought the world.

London & the bombs:

We were shocked. We really were shocked to say the least. When my cousin told me about the bombs in London, I thought he was making fun of me. I thought he was joking! Then we turned on the radio & it was on everywhere.
I feel sorry not only for people who suffered in the attack but also for people who planed it. Why in the name of God some people commit such huge crimes? Killing innocent people won’t get anyone anywhere. Terror is nit the answer!
The first thing my cousin said after hearing the news was “we’re going to get attacked”. & that’s how some others think too. I have no idea how the bombing would be related to Iran but if President Bush is waiting for a reason to continue the war against terrorism, this would be a good one to attack my country.
Well, I’m not going to think about unreasonable nightmares we might be facing in near future. My career is on the rocks & I’m starting French lessons so I supposedly don’t have the time to worry!!!!!
Moreover, before I sign off this post, El if you’re reading this post anywhere on the earth, give me a call or leave a message or something. I’m dead worried about you & Alex. I tried to call your cell phone but it was off! I hope you would not be hurt in the bombs! I’ll call New Castle tonight, hopefully you’ll be back home by then!

See the pic?

Leila...

is a nice movie. Did u know that the actor & the actoress got married after the movie?
Ali Mosafa (actor) is the grandchild of an Iranian poetess & both his parents are university lecturers. Leila Hatami (actoress) is the only daughter of our great movie maker Ali Hatami. The movie is rather old & the first I watched it, I cried my eyes out!

I'm still alive!

Well, Don’t Go Making Promises You Cannot Keep!
That’s all I have to say about the whole situation right now in Iran!
Tomorrow will be a day to make better or worse!
& oh yeah... the bomb didnt hurt me although I had been around where it exploded earlier which caused a major heart attack for my mom!

Presidential Election:

Well, honestly you didn’t think I would forget something as big as this, did you? It had been about a year that we have been getting ready for this election. Since Parliament elections last year & the change toward Islamic hard-liners, we’ve been expecting this election to be a huge step backward in our politico-sphere.
During president Khatami’s era, social participation in political affairs had been reducing day by day. That could be due to disappointment the nation feel…. “There never would be a change anyway,” one of my friends told me, who had been in President Khatami’s campaign for his first election with me. “Khatami’s a great person but he is no rebellion.” He continued. & this is how most of reformist’s fans think about the situation in Iran.
Most people I know gave up voting a long time ago, which led to hard-liners victory in parliament elections. They say no to the system by not voting & participating in political matters. I’m not saying I would vote or not, but I don’t know if Boycotting the election would solve anything. On the other hand, participating won’t change the basics either. Another friend says: “Boycotting will only let you blame others for a decision even they themselves didn’t make”. He is right in a way… the boycott only omit the responsibility.
Mr. Hashemi (Iran’s ex-president) is participating in election & he seems to have the greatest possibility to win by the polls taken by governmental system. However these official (& since distrust-able) polls show that more than 50% are not participating in the election. This number is very vague yet everybody is expecting him to win.
His most powerful rival Dr. Moeen had been Education Minister during the infamous military attack to the University of Tehran. He is a very knowledgeable gentleman & seems to be a man of high caliber but unfortunately, he is not a decision maker like his fellow politician Pr. Khatami. This factor makes most hesitant reformist fans doubt his ability “I don’t want another Hashemi era for sure” declares a friend “but I don’t want a Khatami era either”. With this trend of boycotting the election by reformists, I personally doubt he can pull off in the election.
Mr. Ghalibaf is…. What can I say about him? He is a Military man, a pilot & has a Ph.D. (!) (Although he doesn’t have the Masc.)…. Ironically, he was in charge of Tehran Military force during the attack to university. Well, he has a very important privilege! He looks good. He is one the most handsome middle-aged men I’ve ever met. & he is elegant. Yet hmmm… a handsome military president is creepy….
Mr. Larizani, ex-head of Governmental Media, is another candid. He is a true politician, an Iranian Churchill. He seems to be a good manager too but he belongs to hardliners & well, most hard-liner fans will vote for Mr. Hashemi, so there is almost no chance for him to win.
Mr. MehrAlizade is the ex-head of Sports Organization & the recent Iran’s National Football team victory is a very good propaganda for him. He has proved that he is a very good manager but I doubt anyone even give him a fighting chance since he is in reformists campaign & reformists are trying to back up Moeen to defeat Hashemi.
The last but not the least is Mr. Ahmadinejhad, the Mayer of Tehran. Honestly, I don’t know much about him. He had been a university lecturer & he seems to do fine for the year he’d been the Mayer. There is only one point about him, which might be a major problem. He is well to put it bluntly, ugly. It’s not that physical beauty is that important, I know better to be this much superficial yet; the matter is he can improve his looks a lot by just combing his hair & dressing more elegantly. My cousin decided to leave the country if he wins the election. “People will think Iran is a big zoo,” he says, “if our president looks like a monkey”

FOOTBALL

Yes baby! We won! Iran is the first country to join the world-cup 2006 in Germany! They did it!
Last night was a very exciting night for Iranians all over the world. We tend to be in-love with soccer & Iran is called Asian Brazil for having so much football fans. Last night Iran national team played against Bahrain in AZADI Stadium, Tehran. We only needed 1 score out of six scores possible from two remaining matches. & Iran defeated Bahrain 1-0 & scored three scores & yeah we’re on our way to Germany!
ZENDE BAD Iran! That is ‘long live Iran’ in Persian. I’m so proud of my country. Going to world cup may be nothing for some teams but for Iran, it is a huge step. I pray for my national team success in the world cup.

Where on earth I have been?!!!!!!

Nowhere special actually! I had been where I have always been, doing what I always did. However, there had been one BIG change! My computer needed a heart surgery! Therefore, I had to back up ALL my files & programs & then we format the hard & re-partitioned it. & right after we were done, I went & plugged my modem into the electricity outlet! & that’s how my poor PC almost died! We had to take him to CCU for intense care & finally he got back today. He is still weak & sometimes passes out while working but we’re coping ;) .
So this is how I disappeared for more than a month. I’m back though & hopefully I will be able to update more. I’m about to get an internet account over at my job but I’m not sure I would be able to update the blog from work.
My boss had been the pain in the neck (sorry) & he gave my account password to Apple-of-his-eyes (who is one of the employees) & wanted to make me share the net with him. Now I usually don’t get annoyed & I don’t care about small things. Yet internet usage (especially in Iran with all these filtered sites & such) is a very private matter & is not something I would like to share. What if the other one feels like checking the taboo sites (like political sites) under my name & get me into trouble for something I haven’t done? I’m not saying that he would do that, but I know for sure that he is chatting on Yahoo & it’s against the contract. Therefore, I asked MR. Moody Boss to give that account totally to him, insisting that I can connect to internet from home. Unfortunately, Apple-of-boss’s-eyes is not permitted to use Internet yet so my boss kindly (!) asked me to let him use mine although I had changed the account type & such. However, when I told Mr. Apple-of-boss’s-eyes he got upset (!) & he is not talking to me since!
Anyway, I am back & there are many issues to talk about presidential debates & campaigns, Election Day, & FOOTBALL!

I'm Checking my Hello acount!

Zoroastrian

Thanks to my dear Green Mind for correcting me. Truth is I had forgotten Zardosht's name in English (Zoroaster) while I was writing the post about it. & I was too lazy to look it up so I just went with the Persian pronunciation & jot it down the way we call him here.
Another point is that Zardosht is an Iranian messenger & Zardoshti (Zoroastrianism) is an Iranian religion. Therefore the correct forms of pronouncing his name would the Persian form, come to think of it. I mean that is what the original name is so why change it?
I remember once in my Food Chemistry course my professor kept using the French pronunciation of 'Millard'. (He is a great food scientist & a very important reaction is named after him.) One of my fellow students asked why he didn’t use the English pronunciation. "Do you like your name to be pronounced in English? He is French & so his name is French" Professor answered. I believe it's very true; this is what called Persian dignity.
On the other hand, Green Mind had a good point in the comment: so many people would not have heard the Persian name of Zardosht (which in many cases is a shame), while they would have recognized the English word of Zoroaster. Hence that would be inconsiderate to use the Persian words without introducing the English equivalents (that is if they exist).
Anyhow, I was just playing devil's advocate here. I didn’t mean to get philosophical over a simple issue of using a word. :)
Talking about the days back in school reminded me to announce something: I passed the first level of Masc. entrance exam in MBA major! I just don’t believe it! I had not studied a bit for it! & as you know that's not my Bs major! I don’t know how I did it but I did! Now I have to take part in some bloody interviews & some written tests for different universities. I don’t know my rank in the entrance exam yet & that would not be very good I guess which means I have to show off a bit in the interviews.
I'll have another test next week for my own major at my own university. & that would be a double time test: Friday morning would be the basic course tests which include Food Chemistry, Food Microbiology, math & English Comprehension. & in the afternoon Food Technologies (e.g. Dairy, Cereals, Oils, and Preservations &...) & Food Engineering would be the main courses on the test.
Yet I have to wait till September for the interviews to begin. It's kinda good since I'll have time to work more on my skills. To be honest, I have my eyes set on one particular school (Industrial Management Institute) where Masc. courses are offered in English. This makes it a rather hard place to get admitted to for most people. But I shall think about the upcoming exam instead of the interviews.
Quick update on the Gang!
Well, it's been long since last I wrote about my crew. Honestly with our busy everyday life schedule, we don’t get to hang out as much as we used to. Well, we used to practically live together to think of it! Now it's time to put some quick updates here since we had gone out a lot during last weeks.
Pat had been the usual concrete angel he was. He tried to cheer everyone up but kept his face straight all the time. It takes a lot for him to remove his stone mask & let us see his emotional side. Though I had a chance to see the face behind few times, but I wish I wouldn't, not that he is not nice or something but due to the eerie situation we were in. he is by far the most affected one regarding the Mr. President's departure. They had always been extremely close & he tries to cope with his absence with planning gatherings for the crew.
Mat had been the good-looking stubborn head he was. He looked especially cool during our last get-together for Miss Poetess birthday. He is keeping his distance though. & he laughs less than he used to which makes us all miss his infamous laughter. He had been a pain in the neck for sometime but he is trying to get better. Personally he had me worried all through last year & I believe he needs to learn a few lessons or two. But he is still very much loved, much more appreciated & we need him to be around. (Mat if by any chance you read this: Stop holding the grudge over her... it's not worth it)
Miss Poetess is studying in Master Course right now & well, we don’t really hang out the way we used to. She had changed a lot. & I have changed a lot. We are still close if we get time to see each other. Our friendship is strong enough to survive our lack of time or least that's what I like to think. She has to do a few things though. She has to talk to Ava & get over whatever had happened with Teddy & them. Speaking of Teddy, he left the crew a while back & didn’t even bother to give us explanations. Heck, I think he is prohibiting himself from a chance of having an everlasting friendship. His loss!
Mr. President left for Toronto two weeks ago. We keep in touch with him & his parents. Yet... hanging out without his annoying mischief is not the same anymore. Who would drink my coke & eat my fries? & who would ask me to read his coffee cup? I miss him somehow. I hope he is well & coping with new environment. He is the sore point of the crew right now. His name kinda keeps repeating & his absence is so obvious you won't miss the feeling that something is not there without him.
Lolly Pop has turned into a totally new person from the shy quite lad he was back at school. He can actually flirt! & not get as red as rout beet when he is talking to a girl other than us!!! Hmmm I have to admit that he had always been ignored in the group but well.... He is getting noticed more & more every time we hang out. What can I say? Why didn’t he get discovered sooner? Alright right now he needs a trim. He is kinda growing his hair longer for the new cut & is in the transient (that's the exact word he used!) stage!!!!!
Mamoosh seems to be the cool girl she was. She's always been there for us & she keeps giving her support to anyone who needs it. Go Girl!
Ava, the last but the most important, has been kinda down recently. It had been due to Mr. President Departure & the exam pressure. Her job is in the rocks too & she is just tired. I wish she could take a break from everything & leave for a short trip to somewhere. & when I say a break I don’t mean just a break from work or study, I'm thinking about a break from EVERYTHING! She needs to lay back a bit and relax! You hear me Girl? RELAX!

To the End:

"Ta Enteha" (To the End) is the name of a Live TV program in Iran News Channel aka irnn, which surprisingly happen to be a worthy show to watch. The basic objective of the program is to discus the main economical, social or whatever else concerns of the whole society. It somehow reminds me of "Hard Talk" but there are experts as well as normal people commenting on the live show. Yet the presenter never fails to give the person sitting on the hot seat a really hard time & that's what I like most about the show. No one's safe sitting on the hard seat of "to the End"!
Mr. Heydari, the presenter of the show, knows how to talk about the issues discussed on the show. It seems that he always studies about the subjects of discussions & have at least a good command over the unclear issues. He insists on clear & straight answers so it's rather (well, more than rather) difficult for the guest to get away with the issue.
What makes the show worth-watching is the fact that it, unlike most other shows on TV, doesn’t follow the political & therefore unfair & biased trend toward the issues. If there would be something wrong, then there is no way it would change it to RIGHT & if at any rare chance the issue discussed would be based on a wrong assumption, Mr. Heydari is courageous enough to declare & accept the truth.
It might not be the most perfect or rebellious program I've ever watched, but nonetheless it is a great step toward respecting viewers common sense & judgment. It tends to stay away from touchy issues like politics (especially now while we're getting ready for Iran's presidential election) & facts concerning the leader of Iran or other big names. Yet, in all honesty, I must admit that never once it let me down on the subjects. If an issue is discussed, then there would be no presumption or prejudgment about it. There is no way the show would reach to the end in a traditional trend where you can guess the results & don’t have to watch it.
Tonight for example it was about Iran buying the Rover Company in Britain which has declared bankruptcy earlier this year. It had been the main subject of the show for the past few days & the discussion is still open. Mr. Heydari's last question of the night was "Is this a political move? & what is the role of Iran's ambassador in London in it?" The guest (head-manager of Iranian company offering the bid) tried to avoid the first question by answering the latter & getting away with it but he asked again: "Is it or is it not?" & the guest didn’t have a choice but to say "Well, it had not been a political issue when it had been brought up, but in the present situation it can be used as one..." & the Mr. Heydari forbid the show saying: "This was to the End, wait for the political aspect of it to be discussed"
Alright, I wanted to write about this program a long time ago & I don’t know why I put it off this long. I'm not one of those couch potatoes who watch TV regularly. There are only a few programs I do watch like "All Saints" & the 7 pm news. TV programs rarely attract my attention; they're either lame, poor-planned dramas or biased news. Most TV series shown here shows violence more than what I can tolerate. Se* on the other hand is banned so I don’t have to worry about that (Although if I had to choose, I would tolerate se* more than violence). Now I have to write a post about TV & other Medias. But that have to wait for another time.
Ps: a little personal post: C, you really have to take less offence about everything. There are a lot of people who don’t understand Spanish & a lot more who don’t understand Farsi! It doesn’t mean that we can't communicate with them. There's always sign language for those who don’t know English ;) write a post about it.
Pss: Dear Grandpa, thanks for the very nice comment you left for my last post. I'm definitely honored. & I have written some very short texts in English (beside from the very stupid story you read) which I might post here. It's just that I'm rather unconfident due to the issue. But I'll try to post some of them.
Now that I'm actually leaving personal comments here, I must leave a message for my dear Lynne (the last but definitely not the least). Thank you so much for all your comments. You & grandpa Doral are the main reasons I keep writing stuff here. & if I don’t leave comments on your posts it's because my stupid ISP is playing a bit with T-blog. I can't open the site most of the time. It's due to internet ban here & sometimes I can open your blog but not the main site & so on.... I tried to get the windows send your posts to my email. (This works for some Iranian blogs) but it had been rather hard work with T-blog. I have no idea why there had been a ban on T-blog; some other blog providers & Net-space providers are on the ban too like geocities. Blogspot was banned too but we tried & released it. So please don’t think that I don’t read your blog! Every time I do get to open your blog I check the Archives for what I've missed. May everything be fine with you.

Have you ever been felt so out of place you didnt know what to do?
I did! Today I just learened that I dont fit in the area I'm working in. It is suffocating me! My boss is very moody & he seems not to be able to make a decision at ALL! He needs to hurry up & do something about the sanitary issue in the proccess room but he keeps ignoring my reports.
Today he told me: "we've been doing fine for the past year so why rush to change?" & this rush means 3 MONTHS of reporting & disscussing a major problem!
Lord Save me please!

Zardoshti

Who was Zardosht? We believe that he was one of the messengers from God. He was an Iranian prophet & he has a holy book Avesta & some other related writings like Yasnas.
There are three basic rules in the Zardoshti religion: Good Words; Good Thoughts & Good Behavior.
Zardoshtis believe that there is Ahoora Mazda (as God) & Ahriman (as devil). Fire is holy in this religion like the earth, the water & other natural elements. Zardoshtis are free to practice their religion in Iran.
I'm still trying to contact the friend I mentioned & to find more information about the actual religion. It is hard for me to define what is basically Zardoshtism & what is Iranian old belief as they are totally combined together. I mean to be honest Norooz or Tirgan or a lot more practices like yalda are ancient Iranian traditions that are practiced by all Iranians no matter what religion they have. So as an inexperienced little girl, I don’t have the right to judge about the whole issue.
What in actual fact makes it harder for me to differentiate between the tow is the point that my family practice some of these traditions that others don’t. Tirgan, Mehrgan or Froodin are rarely celebrated among other Muslim families while we do participate in them. Still that could be the pan-Iranism hard core in us!
Enough of me talking nonsense about one of the oldest religions in the world, Zardosht goes back to even before Moses. There are few BIG changes happening around me lately. First of all, my cousin is getting married to her boyfriend of 5 years. This leaves me the oldest single kid in the family. & it had been kind of a shock for me. It seems that everyone is growing up so fast here that I can't put up with them. Still it was not as shocking as my other cousin marriage & then becoming a father. I can remember clearly when he told me that his wife was pregnant, his eyes were glowing & he had a broad smile on his face. I just blinked at him & said "Have you gone mad? You shall not kid me like this! She can't be pregnant!" & then totally freaked out!
Secondly, Mr. President (my friend from the crew) is leaving Iran forever next week. We met up to say goodbye last night & it was very hard, harder than I imagined. When I wanted to leave, we hugged & I had to run away not to let him see my tears. He will be missed greatly. I hope wherever he is & with whomever he befriends, he would remember us cos we definitely going to remember him for the rest of our lives.
I guess I have to learn to say goodbye to my other friends too. Most of the crew is working on leaving Iran in future. That is sad but we all have to admit that it is inevitable to grow apart & to leave the bond we share behind. Someday we will be together again & till then....My job is still a pain in the neck. I really need more space & a clear work chart! No! I'm not gonna talk about it cos it only make me sadder than what I already am!

Zardosht

Well, I definitely like to write more on this subject. Most of Iranian like the old religion of Zardosht & we still celebrate some of the holidays as national holiday.
A family friend of mine is Zardoshti & I will have her word to put here.
Just bear with me please. I STILL don't have the net access at work & it's killing me. I do my best to put a post before the end of the Weeks.
PS: Dear sydaus I read your blog & honestly I have learned not to get offended about the whole Islam issue. Although I genuinely believe that the religion most people consider Islam has nothing to do with the real points of the religion. Never once anyone tried to show the gentle points in Islam. Anyhow, over here I'm just an Iranian defending my Nationality of sorts, trying to reveal the real person behind the biased media image. So nope I didn't get offended.

Nutrition 101...

Alright at last I got enough time to write this down. And I decided that it would be best to publish it in my blog too (Criss I hope you don’t mind). This is a very simple method to calculate your body needs & rearrange the amount of food you're consuming. Just take in mind that this is only about the energy you gain from the food not the vital nutrients you are supposed to get. That shall be discussed in another topic. (I don’t promise but if I would find the nutrition charts on line, I'd post them here. Mine are in Persian & it's no use to post them.)
To start our nutrition 101, we must learn a few expressions:
* Cal: in nutrition Science energy is measured by Cal (with capital C) which indicate Kilo Calories. So if I would write 9 Cal, then it means 9 kilo calorie. (Note: each Cal is 4.8 joules)
* REE: Resting Energy Expenditure: this is the minimum required energy for natural body reactions without any kind of physical action involved (like when you're sleeping).
Ladies generally need 0.9 to 0.95 Cal per hour for each Kg of body weight to survive. It means if you're 50 kg lady then you need: 50*0.9*24= 1080 Cal per day just to live on.
As for gentlemen the figure is 1 Cal per hour for each Kg of body weight. For example a 50 Kg man needs: 50*1*24= 1200 Cal per day.
The first step to start a diet is to calculate your REE. & no matter what, you shall not take a diet with less energy than REE (that is called straining diet)
REE is affected by some factors like fever, pregnancy, Lactation, growth age, stress, emotional experiences &.... in these cases REE might be raised up to 13%.
* Required Energy for Physical Activity (PA Coefficient):
Now comes the important part, how much Cal do you need to really get by per day? There are Coefficients which would determine your body need:
- sitting without Strenuous physical activity: 1.4-1.5
- sitting with Strenuous physical activity: 1.5-1.6
- standing: 1.8-1.9
- intense physical activity: 2.0-2.4
- Sportive physical activities 2 or 3 times per week for at least 30-60 minutes will add 0.3 to each figure.
If you multiple these coefficients (depending on your situation) by your REE, you'll get your required energy expenditure.
For instance suppose a 50 kg salesman who is standing most of the time:
REE: 50*1*24= 1200 Cal/day; 1200*1.8= 2160 Cal/day
This means he at least needs 2160 Cal per day to be able to do his job.
* TEF (Thermal Effect of Food): this is the heat released by your body after you consume food. TEF is usually around 10% of required Energy Expenditure.
So in the above example, it will be 2160* 10%= 216 Cal/day

Now we get to calculate the real Energy Requirement of your body: you shall add TEF to the Required EE. (2160+216= 2376 Cal/day in the example)
Therefore there is this simple equivalent for your body energy need: (REE*P.A) + TEF
Obviously, if you consume more Cal than the figure, you'll get fat & the less you consume, the thinner you become.
If you want to lose weight healthily, your diet should contain 10 to 15% (on top) less Cal than the figure you calculated above. Remember that a diet with less than REE Cal can damage both your health & sanity.
When you're done calculating, then it's time to manage your diet. You shall consume 40% of your Cal during lunch time. It is said that you can have 25% at breakfast & 10 to 15% at dinner time & divide the rest into 2 or 3 meals along the day.
You're supposed to receive 60-65% of your Cal through Carbohydrates (like sugar, Starch, Rice, Potato, Bread & Fibers), 20-25% through fats & 10-15% through proteins.
I hope this very basic information about Nutrition would help to somehow managing the diet & food consuming habits. Remember that this is just about the Cal you get. In a healthy diet there are other factors involved like the need for vital micronutrients, maximum & minimum level of consuming the three basic nutrients (Carbohydrates, fats & proteins), your health state & a lot more.
Please, please do not follow a diet before consulting your family doctor &/or a nutritionist. For an optimum diet you shall take into account different aspects. Even if a diet had worked fine for someone else it does not mean it's good for you too.
Yeah & remember to EXERCISE. That is the Magical Charm to lose weight.
Well, if I should be of any assist, Proshat@gmail.com is where you can leave me a message.

There are a lot of things in my mind; I don’t know which one to pick.

First of all there is Norooz & the New Year & all the traditions related to it. this year however, I don’t feel the mood for the spring & New Year. It is sort of weird cos the weather is like heaven & the sky is clear, the birds singing & you know the usual stuff... still it fails to reach my heart somehow. I gathered it would due to the new job & the whole unstable, still adjusting I'm in.
On the other hand, my mind keeps bothering me about the whole nuclear power thing going on in Iran. I'm frightened & unsure of what lays ahead for my country. We really don’t need another war. Honestly, I doubt US would attack Iran due to the new tone in the public speeches of US politicians. Yet if the government would clutch to unreasonable discussions, then another ban on Iran would be underway. & heaven knows it's the last thing this country needs.
Apart from general worries, there are some quite personal issues running around in my life too. it is kind of related to the gang & the way we all changed. Now I'm hearing some sort of disappointing news about the whole group & I wonder where we went wrong. I wonder what happened to the innocent friendships & trust between us. I still have my friends but the gang is shattered to pieces. We would hang out but it's not the same. There are hurts & disappointments, unspoken frustration which is building itself up & it seems to be undefeatable. We all need time to get used to the changes. I hate the fact that an unpredictable misery made us drift apart instead of bringing us close & unite us. Enough said about that.
There are bright sides in life too. I met P- the pampering wife today. (he was a friend in my CLC class) & she is such a sweet girl. We seemed to bond quickly & that was cool. I hope she liked me too. & I hope to see my other friend's fiancée too. (The one who had a crush on me!) & that would the more important one cos I want to leave a good impression to save our friendship. Let's pray it goes smoothly.
Well, now I get to go & sleep... tomorrow would be another day at work... correction another hard day at work!

What had happened to me?

I'm still alive... well, at least I can say that I'm breathing & everything is fine. The weather had been pretty cold here. Tehran had not had the amount of snow it snowed in 50 years or so. & in some parts of the country the electricity were shut off due to the heavy snow & cold weather. & in one particular area in the south coast of Caspian the capital of Gilan province, Rasht, was isolated & the unexpected natural disaster comity had to take charge of the city.
However, right now the weather is pretty nice. It is sunny & a cool breeze is blowing. The air pollution is under control & you can actually behold the great Damavand from the city center. I wish I had a digital camera & I could post some pictures from Tehran these days.
It's going to be New Year here in less than a month & this means everyone is out there buying & getting ready for the New Year & spring.
Among all the rush in the streets & the strollers who pass by chatting & window shopping, I feel like a complete freak. The New Year rush had not hit me yet. It might be because of the fact that the new job is kinda separating me from the usual stuff. Typically I should have started my spring cleaning up by now; but alas, spring cleaning is becoming more of a burden than the joyous job it once was. I'm at work from 8 to 4 & most of my evenings are spent out either I have classes or there is a gathering somewhere I had to attend or simply my friends want to hang out. So it's almost 8 pm when I get home.
This very last weekend the Masc. entrance exam was held. I participated in two different majors: Food Engineering & MBA. This means I had exams on Thursday & Friday. It was kinda straining, cos I didn’t get enough sleep & it sure affects my job.
Now I shall stop whining & get some sleep. It would be another full time, hectic day tomorrow but I promised myself to write more (if only I get the time & energy to turn on my pc!)

Voting:

As we get closer to the date of enrolling for presidential candidates, the debates on who is going to win the election heats up. The interesting fact is that the number of famous & might-be-next candidates is more than it usually is.
Neither right winders nor reformists had agreed on a single main candidate yet. & the so-called supportive parties have chosen different candidates with diverse qualities & points of view.
During the last election, right wing hard liners won the parliament & ever since then government had faced so many problems due to the fact that parliament doesn’t see eye to eye with them. Few of our ministers including the transportation minister had been interpellated, while it's only 6 months to the termination of the Khatami's cabinet.
Most people I know did not vote in the last election. This is a way to show objection to the whole régime. Forbearing the validity of the governing system & the whole I-agree-I-agree-not issue, not participating in the political events has another reason to. "What you choose that had been chosen for you before" this sentence can be used to describe all the elections over here.
The parliament of elites (!) has to confirm legitimacy of the candidates & the elites tend to filter anyone who doesn't appeal to them either with or without a real reason. It is a trend to find your desired candidate forced to run off the election due to vague reasons like not being sincere in Islamic rituals. Thus you will have limited chosen candidates to run for the election.
On the other hand, nobody really pays attention to the Parliament of Elites election. In my personal opinion, the Elite Council election is where we can choose the rest of the government heads. Although that one is validated by Observing Council & is no better than the others, yet we could make small changes if we needed it.
Back to upcoming presidential election, if Shirin Ebadi the noble-prize winner runs for the election AND she gets validated, I'll vote for her, though the chance is very low.

A New Job:

Wow I hadn't been online for so long! & I missed being on line & browsing the net. I have to find a way to manage more time on line.
Um... yeah, finally I got a new job & it is much related to my field of study. Recently I had been working with a team on some factory plans but I quit the job & now I'm working as a food-inspector in a huge governmental company. It's pretty hard & I have to work in a time frame of 8am-4pm which is not my cup of tea. I always preferred jobs with flexible time tables. Yet it's a quite good job & the facilities are good.
It can get rather stressful cos a thousand lives will depend on my accuracy. Healthy food & food safety can get very crucial concerning health issues. The job requires more on site supervisions along with the paper works. I hope I can get through the first month of training-examining, and then I shall become an official employee.
The worst point of the job is that I don’t any internet access from work. & usually I get home so tired that I can not go online. Even if I had the access to internet, it would not be easy to check my favorite websites or blogs. Although private net usage is allowed to some extent in governmental companies, the number of sites one can check is restricted due to the fact that no one is sure which sites are illegal & which are not. For example, I would like to check JC Source (I have been a JC fan for quite some time) but it would probably cause problems for me.
Unfortunately, most of the time people's private passions & ideas are questioned here & they are judged base on personal preferences.
At the same time, people contacting with foreigners (except for business contacts) are thought to be untrusting & not reliable in governmental environments. I don’t know but the general mood is like that especially when you are working close to the head of the company. (My situation is like that right now, beside the position is newly added to the organization chart & actually I am the first to do the job so...)
Anyhow... I don’t know how long I can survive but hopefully things will get better by time. May God help me through this one.

Nostalgic

A few moments ago I had a talk with one of my old friends. He is a friend from college days & used to hang out with the gang whenever he was around. He just called me up out of the blue & we talked a good half an hour.
This suddenly made me really nostalgic. I miss the school days... I miss my friends. Why couldn’t be forever? We grew up & drifted apart, going on different ways. Sometimes our roads cross & I always wondered if we could maintain our friendship; whether the intimacy would survive....
Tonight I learned that friendship never dies; it never subsides.... the friend mentioned & I had not been talking for over a year, still the conversation wasn’t formal or cold. It was like the old days that we used to talk about nothing forever. So yes; I believe true friendship survives....
Ps: Mat I wish you could read this... I wish you would read my Persian blog... I miss you a lot. We need your friendship.... I wish you would be back to yourself... don’t let your emotions for someone else come between us. If you want to avoid her, that's fine but don’t ditch us... you mean a lot to us.

It's Freezing here......

It's snowing heavily here & the weather is really nice!
I LOVE SNOW!

Are Iranians racist? (Please note that this post is not based on my personal opinion & hence means no offence by any means to anyone. Please take that

(Please note that this post is not based on my personal opinion & hence means no offence by any means to anyone. Please take that in mind that this just my observations.)
To put it bluntly: YES! Most Iranians tend to think that they are of a "different blood" than others. It doesn’t mean that they don’t respect other races, visa versa.... It's just that they are 'different'. & being different doesn’t necessarily mean 'being better'.
It doesn’t matter how long one may live with Iranians & it doesn’t matter how many real-blood-Iranian does one have as friends or in-laws, s/he would never be IRANI. S/he would be treated respectfully, would be loved & befriend with & would feel at home around Iranians yet there would be a boundary that s/he cannot cross. I don’t know how I can explain it... it's not that the person would be treated out of the ordinary... but s/he remains a guest (a beloved & appreciated guest on that).
My late great-grandmother was from Russia & she, still, after 4 generations is referred to as 'Russian Princess'. Even in my family- which happens to be very broad-minded about other races- the boundary shows when it comes to certain aspects like getting married. Recently a cousin of mine was about to get married to an American & surprisingly some of the elderly people opposed it! She got married anyway & we the younger generation supported her. However she is lucky that she is accepted into the family; when my great-aunt decided to marry a Swiss, she was banned from attending any kind of family union.
Nevertheless the case is really cool with Westerners (Europeans & Americans) when it is compared to Arabs or other nations. I have Arab friends & I also know people from other nations & I don’t mean to put down anyone here. However most Iranians tend to think really low about them & that is due to some historical conflicts between the two nations. I know that most of us get a bit prejudiced over the nationality issue especially when we are compared to or taken for Arabs. & as a very small part of Iranian society, I try to change that.... if I would ever have any children, I shall teach them to love everybody regardless of the nation, religion & race.
Tonight we discussed the question over our dinner & my father answered the question: definitely! He said that he might 'tolerate' & befriend with a foreigner but he can never think of him as Iranian. This kind of shocked me since my father is known for his hospitality toward strangers. Then he explained himself & I'm trying to translate his words as accurate as I can. He said that being friend & respecting another human is one thing & ignoring the differences is another thing. Accepting a foreigner as someone who is grown up on our culture is like forcing a black to change his skin color (either because one do not like the color or thinks it goes more with the person). When it comes to differences we must accept people they way they are not the way we want them to be. Then he asked me that if I would live in another country (e.g. America) would I be American or Iranian? & my answer was clearly the latter then he asked if I wanted to be known as 'American' in the situation which I definitely not. Thus he concluded that if I respect human beings the way I claim to, then I shall respect the diversity of cultures & nations & not to 'uncategorize' people. Honestly, I never thought about the matter like that before so I thought I would share my dad's word with you. He sometimes can get rather philosophical as you can see. But all in all that's why I love him so much.

Reading habits:

As I have written before, Iranian culture is rather verbal than written, hence most Iranians find it rather boring to read. They mostly prefer to *hear* words & stories than to *read* them. So the reading time is very low in my country or at least that is what I've seen.
Reading time in my home, however, had always been an important part of a day schedule. Ever since I was very young, even at the age of 3, my dad & I used to lie on my parents bed while he read out books to me & later to my sister. Books in my little world, represented warm & cozy feeling.... One of my best memories are based on the time my dad was reading "One-Leg-ogre" or "DIVE-YE-LANGOO" as we call it, to me. It is a folklore story & is one of my favorites.
As time passed by & I grew up, books became essential part of my life. My mother thought me how to use the dictionary when I was 6 & first started to read books in higher levels. & from then on, I kept checking it for my answers to everything. I never asked questions but rather find them on my own. Maybe that's why I'm so obsessed with books! I carried them everywhere & being an intense reader, I was never satisfied with the amounts of books I was reading. I always wanted more, more & more. Having very diverse interests, the books I read were about different subjects... novels, science, math, history, geography, philosophy & a lot more. I remember easily when I first read Nietzsche; I was hardly older than 10 & I kept checking my dictionary & encyclopedia but it was an amazing experience. Later when I was 17 I read the same book again & honestly I was wondering how I could have read it at that time!!!!!!
Most my friends (well except for Katherine) are not much of a reader. & that's a shame. The few of them who do read, mostly stick to novels or text-books. They are mostly *too* busy to do a serious reading & that somehow disturbs me. I love them all dearly yet I do have the right to criticize them. That's really a shame that most of the books in most Iranian families are either text-books or superficial novels. But well, I am not the one to talk to, cos maybe they do the right thing sticking to one subject rather than having a taste of everything....

Family time:

How do we spend family time together? Does this mean what we do when we are at home & have nothing to do? We watch TV, read books, play cards & talk.
Perhaps I can explain it more by telling you how my family spends the evenings: my mother is retired now so she is home most of the afternoons. My dad comes home at 5 pm. & that's usually when every family member is home. We, unlike most other families, have dinner in early evening. & the dinner usually takes an hour since everybody talks about their day & stuff. Then I usually come to my room & others watch TV or read books depending on the situation. My dad likes to play cards a lot. So it is a family tradition of ours to play in the evenings. & most of the time my mom & I play against dad & my sister. Sometime dad plays with Fabiulla (my sister) or my mother. Spades is one of our favorites & I like to play hearts too. We play other games too like poker, 21 & some other games that I don’t know the English word for. Backgammon is game originated in ancient Iran & is very popular though I rather playing chess when it comes to play board games. In family gatherings we play bingo a lot.
Hmmm... This post has turned into a post about games more than spending family times together! My folks don’t like to go out very much. We rather stay home & chat away the evening than going to a restaurant, Movie Theater or something. When I was younger, we used to go to movies & watch kid-movies but nowadays we prefer to watch CDs at home. Instead of eating out, my parents prefer to order food & have it in the quite of the house where we can easily talk. Going to theaters though is different... once in while we would watch a good one in the main city theater hall.
Weekends which is considered family time too, is usually spent with my close relatives. We hardly stay home at weekends. If the weather would be nice, we would go out to my aunt's mansion in Alborz Mountains. & if it is not, the whole bunch of us, would gather in one of the houses. So on weekends either you are a guest or you entertain them.
What else? Oh, yeah, my parents *love* to shop together... even for smallest things they would go out together. My dad is known for his extraordinary shopping habits though; he might buy the most useless objects & find a *use* for it while my mom tends to buy the most useful ones & not really using them. Well, they are quite a pair!

Divorce in Iran!

Very interesting subject! Actually this bizarre friend of mine keep popping motivating questions & honestly never ever these subjects would have crossed my mind without his help*.
We live in a somehow traditional country where by default divorce is considered a taboo. Unfortunately for most Iranian woman, divorce is the last approach. Though I understand the benefit it has for keeping the family together, I feel that some ladies go under a lot of unnecessary sacrifices while they can save themselves the pain. But that is just my personal opinion....
The process of getting divorced in Iran is a long, painful procedure.... & it is meant to be to avoid the breakdown of the family. & I know that most of the laws are unfortunately for men & it leads to unhappy marriages. Living in a loving & happy family, I am far from talking about the results of an unhappy marriage on children... yet through watching others it is obvious that everybody involved in the marriage (including the poor children) is affected badly.
Interesting point is that getting divorce is the easiest part considering the post-split problems that may occur. Women suffer more from these post-split problems as I like to call them. Our culture is mostly based on man-dominance & though it is slowly changing still the stone-age rules shadows some aspects of our lives. (Ridiculous as it is, in stone-age Iran was mostly governed by women.... *sighs*) So a divorced lady has to be very cautious & self-conscious about her behavior in the society.... she must "behave" herself! A widow is not usually welcomed. She is sometimes treated like she has a disease & must be kept in quarantine....
Well, that's not the whole society notion. We have quite a few family friends who are divorced & we never did have a problem with them. & they do live the way they want to still even the most laid-back of them claims to have a lot of problems.
In my generation however, the attitude toward divorce is changing quickly & although it's sad to see all the numerous divorce files filling in these days, it is good that we have learned to accept the fact.
I personally think that it is due to the fact that the new generation is more self-centered than our parents. We like to consider our own benefit more than the whole society's. Hence we tend to walk out when there is something threatening our own happiness... the same fact can be mentioned about brain drain & immigration. Iranians are the most highly-educated immigrants in the world. That is tragic.... well, that's a totally different issue I might want to talk about later.
Meanwhile, two are my friends are getting divorced in USA.... they are both family friends & we are all the same age as each other. I had been there when they fell in love; when they decided to get married; when they said their vows but I can not be there for them now. & it is hard for us who remained here.... we thought that they would last forever. They lived our dream alive... being so in-love & so young & charming. Where all the love goes? The girls has been one of my best friends... when her soon-to-be-ex (how sad it sounds) called me last time he said: "I'm happy I took a chance & lived with one of the best girls I knew... but there was no way we could work things out. We grow up & it's time to live as adults we are not as the teenagers we used to be!"
Enough of me posting sad thing.... I shall keep my happy mood! It's Christmas time for heaven's sake! & my birthday is coming up so... yeah; I shall live it up a bit & maybe go out with my crew!
* Remember the friend who asked me about boyfriends? He is the one who asked for a post on Divorce! C. you're a socialist, aren't you? Go find the answers yourself hun!

Yalda:

Yalda came & went. I always wonder how little facts makes this night memorable. We listened to traditional music & read Hafez which is always the best part of it. & I got to eat a lot & I mean a lot of stuff! Mom says that Yalda is the ideal time for gluttons! I love Yalda night! This year for the first time I was the one who read & interpreted the Hafez poems. It is a custom that an elderly member of the family does this. My mother is usually the one who reads the poems & I usually read one or two for myself & sometimes for friends. This year however, it was my honor to do all the reading....
We had a pretty cool discussion about Ferdowsi too. Shahnameh reading is a fading Yalda custom, which we like to practice. I wish we could read something by Nezami Ganjavi who has great poems about famous lovers like KHOSRO-SHIRIN & SHIRIN & FARHAD. & to think of it, we didn’t read anything from Mollana either.... instead me & my sis played some parts of Arash the bow-man which is one of my favorite myths.
Just one regret for me though, I didn’t make a wish! Well, I can always save my Yalda wishes for my birthday so....
Ewwww.... its 1 am again! I must catch some Zzzz. Tomorrow will be a long day since I have so much to do! Good night....

Breathe by Faith Hill

I CAN FEEL YOU BREATHE...
sorry the song had got me bad!

Marriages in Iran

Or how do we get married? Well, that's a fairy good question. Marriages are being dealt with in tow systems in Iran: first would be the traditional way & the second, the usual (modern) way.
I am not going to talk about the traditional system since it is not that much practiced nowadays or at least in the part of society I am living in. in this way, usually the family is the one who choose the spouse for the child. However if you are interested in knowing the details I would be happy to help.
In the latter method, the person him/herself chooses. Most of the time, the boy & the girl know each other before hand & either had been boyfriend/girlfriend or intimate. & most of the time when they mutually decide they want to share their lives with each other, they inform their families. Family blessing still plays a very important factor in our society & although I know quite some people who eloped to get married, it is not considered a common practice.
Usually the boy's family visit the girl's in a session named KHASTEGARI. This session is borrowed from the traditional system & is aimed for the two families to get to know each other. People typically talk about the whole marriage concept, the place the newly wed would live in, the parties & ceremonies & usual stuff in this session. & it is mostly formalities since mostly the couple had talked about it all before.
The next step is engagement. There would a small party for close relatives at the bride's house & the groom's family brings gifts for the girl & announces the engagement. & the bride & groom change the engagement rings. Some people will have their religious blessing at this ceremony yet others wait till the wedding ceremony to say their vows.
Then it is time for going on a shopping spree for the wedding... buying bridal gown & accessories, the traditional mirror & candle-holders, the wedding rings & other jewelries. In this step it is a tradition that groom would buy the girl's things & the bride would pay for the groom's.
The wedding ceremony is usually held along with the religious vow exchange. & it is generally held at nights. The guest would forbid the couple late at night to their new home & the marriage life begins. The next day, the guests bring in the gifts for bride & groom in PA-TAKHTI, which is a ceremony held at the newly-wed home & then the couple leave for the honey-moon.
In large families, like mine, the post-marriage parties take about a year to be fulfilled, since it is a tradition to invite the newly-wed couples for the first time as PAGOSHA. & yeah, this is the way Iranians get married in a nut-shell.
Well, I must admit I don’t like this kind of approach either. If I am ever to get married, I would take my fiancé's hand & go to a trip & then I would go & live in my own place with him. I hate parties & ceremonies & the way they would be aggregated into galas sometime. & it would leave the bride & groom weary & tired all through the honey-moon.
Forget it... aha! Anyhow did you know that we use the same word for both month & moon in Persian? We call them both: MAH. So the word honey-moon in Persian has a double meaning, it means a month of sweetness too!

Life's not a bed of roses...

I didn’t even knew I could be so disappointed & nor did I ever think I would want to leave the city, the country I adore so much. Honestly I never comprehended a simple hurtful experience could cause so much hatred that would lead me to consider the option of immigrating.
I really don’t want to talk about the horrible. & I don’t intend to act on impulse & let my anger take the best of me. Yet there are some good reasons for all of us who had been involved to take our leaves & say goodbye to the land we love.
Immigration would be like saving oneself & let others drown but what else we really can do? If only I could make my family leave with me... but I cannot. & I know in time, this intense urge of running will subside & I will get back to live in the same old frames I had been living for the past 24 years. However, I know that something's changed & some other things would never change.
Still I will remain & fight. I will make a change & I will make my generation see the freedom, it is seeking. Let's join our forces to defeat the despair.... we can do it!

What's this Again?

Arabian Gulf? Check It Out Please! It's a Way to Show objection...

How do we get married!

Dear Lynne the movie you refer to is rather an old one.... It had been a very successful movie in it's time cos it refers to a social problem that is hardly talked about: girls who run away from home.
Well, it's not illegal for people to date but it's not legal either! I mean we have some kind of a cultural barrier in this special area. The Islamic hardliners do not agree with "dating" or "courtship". They tend to believe in stone-age rules & set-up marriages in which the engagement time is the time to know your supposedly future spouse.
However, hardly anyone I personally know had got married with a set-up marriage. Even my grandparents knew each other & sort of dated before they got married. My own parents had been BF/GF & all of their siblings had courtship time & dates!
Governmental forces still tend to pick up on young people from time to time but it is becoming less & less.... I mean we are going through changes & dating is widely practiced nowadays. Folks go to movies, restaurants, picnics & all... (except for clubs for we do not have them). & they talk on the phone. You can find hand in hand young couples everywhere....
I will write more about it.

Cheating

It's the one thing I am not good at! Cheating is a cheap way to gain victory & that's not my style. While most of my friends are specialized & have master degree in Cheating, I am proud that I had never cheated...; well, practically anyway I cheated once; However in my opinion that didn’t count... since it was a way to show the class objection to an obligatory test. (Everybody actually was cheating... I just wrote the whole answers & passed them on!)
There is no point in cheating in my opinion anyway. You either know the answer or you don't & there is no other option there.... I have heard a lot about learning by cheating; & for sure it works but to me it's only an excuse. You have to deserve what you gain & you have to do it the right way.
With all said & done; it seems that I would know nothing about cheating techniques which happens to be totally untrue! I have learned a lot from my sister & friends! So I don’t think my young students would have a chance to commit cheating in the final exam!
Yeah, BTW Thursday would be the last session of my class!
Ps: To Shahram: it was hilarious! I mean it! The "it's just me... don’t bother yourself" comment was one of the best I have heard over the years! Well, everyone my dear friend made a very (I mean VERY) silly mistake & there he goes: it's just me... don’t bother!

IT'S PERSIAN GULF

What's this with Arabian Gulf? there is no such a thing as Arabian Gulf! It's only one thing: Persian Gulf & it will Stay forever Persian Gulf....

Boyfriends:

Honestly it never did cross my mind that others wanted to know about how Iranians date. I mean, the point is that's a very personal & private matter in my opinion. & everybody has different idea about it.
I do understand that having a boyfriend had been kind of a taboo in my country for so long, like the s** matter & every other related subject, it had only been talked about in the safety within the closed doors. I'm not saying that I comprehend why or that my family practices that kind of thoughts. Being brought up in an open-minded family, the question about guys & how to treat them never actually bothered me much. They had been my friends, co-players, co-students &.... so really there had never been once in my personal life that I had to think of them as a taboo.
However, there are so many girls out there in my country who still have problem with boyfriend issues. What is natural friendship in my opinion happens to be a hidden taboo in someone else's. Therefore it is totally understandable that a question about dating issue would be brought up in a conversation with a foreigner. The fact is that I had been questioned whether I do believe in dating or not & also if I had dated anyone or not.
As I mentioned before that is a very personal issue; yet I will answer them later on for now I want to talk about the majority of people I do know. Most of my friends, both guys & gals, had been in relationships before. Some even dated around, trying to find their suitable match. & it is natural for them to have girlfriends & boyfriends as well as just-friends. At least it's like that in the part of the society I am personally involved with. I have met people who didn't believe in dating & going on an even a friendly date with a guy was a big hush-hush for them. But well everyone is entitled to their own opinion & there is no way I could say that it is wrong or right. & yeah keep in mind that I'm just talking about dating & not S**.
As for the S** part, again most of people I know don’t consider it as a taboo yet they believe in s** in marriage & staying virgin till then. However, I have acquaintances who believe in making love when they are in a happy serious relationship & they practice it. No harm done anyway in my humble opinion since usually this kind of relationships end up in a marriage over here. So basically it depends on the viewer choice of point of view.
Now back to the questions: I have no objection to dating & I would not keep my relationship hush-hush if I had one. That is stupid. Either you believe in having a relationship & dating or you're not; so if you don’t, just don’t do it! I hate feeling creepy about anything & relationships are just the same. What's the point of sneaking out & meeting low & always fear someone would catch you?
I had never dated though; I mean I have guy-friends but there is no feeling romance between any of them & me. It's not because I am afraid or things like that. It's just that I don’t like to date around, have fun with people I don’t know, go on blind dates or whatever. & to be honest I am not a person who catches the eyes at first. & I am sure that I have mentioned that I am a fat girl & I have very average looks. Not that I don’t like myself, but frankly I am not someone who people wants to look at twice. So that could be another reason.
On the other hand, going out with someone who is not the right one & there is nothing between the tow is pointless. Most of the time I start a friendship first if I want to really date someone & after a while I just figure that there is no spark between us & we are just good friends. I admit that I have had crushes but they never ended up to a relationship. & in some points I get asked out, which usually caught me off-guard since I can not see what they see in me to start a date to begin with.
On the S** part, I am a believer in staying virgin. & it has nothing to with it being a taboo. It's just that I feel having a sexual relationship brings commitment & it's not the way I want to live my life. I am a free spirit, not to be bound to any kind of obligations.
This is really complicated, & I am no ordinary girl so do not base your judgment about Iranian girls on my personal opinions. I just hope that the friend who asked me would have got his answer. & I made a public answer to subside the hesitation some people feel about this particular issue in Iran.
BTW, to the dear friend I mentioned: you can remember that I don’t believe in marriages & living happily ever after for sure. So don’t start with the whole thing again. This is totally different with dating. & in my world dating doesn’t lead to wedding rings!
Sorry if the post is rather personal but I should have been done. Anyway, do you remember the other friend I told you about who liked me? Well, he brought the subject up a while back & I just gave him my tow cents on the matter & we worked things out. I guess he handled it very well & he moved on easily cos he is already engaged with someone. It was fast! I wish him & the soon to be bride all the best.... it's cool to have a close married friend!

The neighbors

I guess I have talked about the neighborhood I do live in before. But I never got to talk about the neighbors I have.
My family had lived in the same apartment building for the past 30 years. Wow to think of it, it's even longer than I existed. There are 8 apartments in the building we live in. Three of them are half-empty & the owners only drop by when they come over to Tehran (tow lives aboard & one in a south-western city of KHORAM ABAD)
This fact leaves only 5 settled-in flats in the building, three of which (including ours) are occupied by the families who had been here over the last 30 years like us. & the other tow family neighbors are pretty new, one just moved in a year ago & the other 2 years back.
We live like a very big family.... I mean we have our privacy & all but in times of trouble we look out for each other. Living together for so long the new generation, as I may put it, has grown up together. I had babysat for my baby-sister as well as the twins who just live downstairs.... The twins & my sister are as old my sis & they are best friends actually. I, Elsie & Ethan are friends too. Elsie is the oldest among us, going on 26, then it's me being 24 & the youngest in the threesome is Ethan, 22. Through the years we learned all about our weaknesses & strength. We had fought, played, laughed & cried together... & we share a history that is hard to ignore. We had been there the first time each one of us fell in love, or when we had our hearts broken.
Elsie had to move out for a year to complete her study in pharmacology. She left this very summer & now she is back for a visit. While we were over at her place, Ethan said something that is carved in my memory; that somehow made me think of how precious this people are to me.
He said: "could you even imagine a day when we all grow up & return here only as guests?"
By the way; last time I used chalks & Black boards is going back to the time I was a third grader.... We Have White boards here... Too bad I am in love Chalks & Blackboards....

There is the cutest in our CLC class:

They come to class together & it just seems so nice... the way they try to share each other's passion for English & the way they try to make time in their hectic life just to be with each other in the classroom. I keep thinking about their lives & the way they keep their love alive. It's so tremendous that.... I can't even describe the feeling I get just watching them. May Lord be their savior.
Yeah... it's raining cats & dogs outside although we had a very warm & sunny day! It's unbelievable that I had to carry my coat everywhere today & it never rained or got cold & now that I am back inside... it simply pours! What more do I have to say?
I had to go to one of the campuses up in the north of Tehran today to have a talk with a professor. So I had to wake up soon & head out which meant that I only got five hours of sleep. & that means that I had slept only 3 hours a night on average over the past week.
Anyhow the professor was having a meeting somewhere else & I was told to rearrange my meeting for 12 o'clock which was fine by me.
Then I had to drive all the way to west of Tehran to check out some stupid pay-bills. By the time I was almost done, it was the time to drive back to the campus for the meeting so you guess.... magically I got there on time but the professor never showed up! So the meeting where rearranged for Wednesday! I got back home, parked the car, changed my clothes & head out for my class. My students had an oral midterm & they were just waiting on the edge. It took a whole tow hour!
Well, I am going to scan a piece of paper which would be my 7-year-old student dictation in near future & I am going to ask you to find out the true word he had to write! He can talk really well & he answers the questions correctly. But when it comes to dictation.... do you think he might have a problem or something?

What's this with students & a sub teacher?

My CLC teacher had taken a day off & so another teacher was to attend the class on that day. & a few friends decided to ditch the class & you know the rest.
The funny part is that... the sub teacher is the supervisor of the institute & she had been the examiner in some of our friends' oral exam. (She had also been my teacher about 5 years ago)
One of the students told us in the last session that when Miss S. (as I'm going to call the sub teacher) was taking an oral exam & had asked him "What's your name?" he had answered "Ra...Ha..." although his name is "Rasa". He was telling us that he had even forgotten his name!
He was one of the classmates who ditched the class... I called after him "I am going to tell her that you are running away!" he turned around "don’t worry she thinks my names is Raha!"
Do I need to say more?

What's this with students & a sub teacher?

My CLC teacher had taken a day off & so another teacher was to attend the class on that day. & a few friends decided to ditch the class & you know the rest.
The funny part is that... the sub teacher is the supervisor of the institute & she had been the examiner in some of our friends' oral exam. (She had also been my teacher about 5 years ago)
One of the students told us in the last session that when Miss S. (as I'm going to call the sub teacher) was taking an oral exam & had asked him "What's your name?" he had answered "Ra...Ha..." although his name is "Rasa". He was telling us that he had even forgotten his name!
He was one of the classmates who ditched the class... I called after him "I am going to tell her that you are running away!" he turned around "don’t worry she thinks my names is Raha!"
Do I need to say more?

My new conversion class!

So there you Shahram! If you ever got the hold of my blog's address, this is about you!
Alright I'm back in an English conversion class & its fun! I met a whole bunch of new group who happens to be very fun to be around & besides Ava is there with which is the best part! Cos it means that I get a whole tow hour to be with her.
I like our teacher... she is a pretty young lady & I like her method of teaching. I don’t know my classmates that well & it's quite soon to judge.
Well, there is this 21-year-old boy in our class who happens to be the youngest. & he really doesn't bother himself to talk accurately so everybody is either pulling his leg or counting his mistakes.
Last session he was talking & he used the correct form of the verb in his sentence for the first time since I know him! & it's something that is not going to happen in the next century! You can see that how important this was! Another classmate of mine joked with him "oh... you should have used HADN'T STUDIED not DIDN'T STYDY." She told him. "Really?!!! Ok! I hadn't studied...." was his reaction toward it!
'K Shahram if you really got to be reading this somehow, I'm just joking! You are the class's soul kiddie!

Who moved my cheese?

Have you read the book by John Spencer? Well, I have. & I expected it to have a miraculous effect on my life which it didn’t so far. However I found it rather true & quite interesting. The book is right: it can do nothing for people who don’t want to help themselves.
So here I am trying to help myself to overcome the changes in my life. There has been a change for sure & I know it; yet what I don’t know is how I can move with my cheese. I mean what's there to be found by me. So in a way I have to find out what my cheese is, which happens not to be the exact easiest thing I can handle.
I know what I don’t want to be & I know deep inside there is an image, a dream living in my heart. & while I'm trying to clarify the blur in my mind, I'm quitting the teaching job! I figured I can not handle a class of 7-13 year olds! I was going nuts! The paying was even less than enough to pay my communication expenses & to be honest I gathered one must be in love with teaching to stay in the business. Grandpa I hope if you get to read you don’t become upset with me. I think you are a very noble man who could have handled the job for all those years. Muhammad once said "teaching is the prophet's job." & I guess he is right.
Anyway I acknowledged the institute that I'm not going to teach next term. I will fulfill this semester & then I am off. I'm applying for a few job vacancies & I hope to find a more related job to my field of study.
Well, that's one change for sure. & I guess I might want to try my luck in getting a new degree in management or something.... So here I come! Let's change!

A typical day in my life:

I woke @ 6 by the sound of the door; it was my mom as always for the past 29 years! (I know I am only 24 but she has been working since 29 years ago!) She left the house for work & I sat up straight in the bed & thought about going out to balcony & shout goodbye, which obviously I didn’t.
Then I get back to sleep since I have no class today & that means I can do whatever I want to. & once again I woke up by father knocking on my door asking if I wanted to accompany him for breakfast before he left.... & of course I did accept. He had caught cold & so I guess he needs a bit pampering if you know what I mean. We tried to tempt my sis to join us but she said no... Well, she doesn’t like breakfasts!
All through the meal we talked about debates going on in America & also about AHOORA! This AHOORA guy is self-acclaimed oppose leader who want to "free" Iran by October 1st. that means we are living in "free" Iran right now! I'm gonna talk about him more, later on. But let's get on with my day.
I went back sleeping after dad left! You know me sleeping is my favorite time pass *grin*. Then I woke at last about 10:30 & decided to watch some movies. I had to use my pc since VCD player was being used by my sis. & I watched "Collateral" & Mr. Tom Cruise was great! It is really strange I usually enjoy the movies others don’t like! I was told that the movie is s*** (sorry for the language!) & I liked it!
Well, I don’t remember having anything for lunch though Fabi, my sister, made very delicious toast but I didn’t feel like it. It had been her birthday yesterday & she was on the phone the whole morning! We watched a soap opera together & then I went for a walk.
I usually wonder why people tend to call me when I am out of the house! Using my cell is not something I would like to do a lot while I am walking & I cannot avoid it by any means! Ten minutes after I set out my friend Pat (do you remember him from our gang?!!!) called me up to say he misses me & others & to ask whether I was free for the evening so we can hang out... which I accepted not-so-eagerly to be honest cos I'm sure if I would be around this weekend & I didn’t want to upset him. I really miss the way we used to hang out before. We used to spend our whole weeks together & now that I look back; I can see that we had pretty good time together. Let's hope I get time to hang out with him. Any way we'd been on phone for 15 minutes while I was walking & I pray he would not a heart attack when he gets to pay his cell bill. *rolling eyes*
Then I walk for another 10 minutes just listening to my CD man & feeling good! But no I had to be interrupted. Another family friend just called to say hi! & he sounded a bit low so I asked what was wrong. *wrong question* he talked for a good half an hour non-stop with me saying "hummm..." "Really?!!!!!!!!" "No of course I don’t think so..." "Yes I do believe that..." you see? I gathered he calls me up whenever he needs some extra attention!
So that's how I passed my evening. Coming back home, the family decided to watch a movie together so we watched "Mama's Guest" an Iranian comedy by DARUOSH MEHRJOOEE.
Now I am sitting at my desk writing this stuff & trying to figure the good point in my free-day. Well, I can't find any! I mean except for having breakfast with dad & talking with the guy I mentioned.
& yeah I need to pick up a subject for my conversion class on Sunday! Any helping hand out there? & don’t even think about politics. It got rejected the first moment I brought that up!

Iran & Iraq: resemblances & differences.

Growing up in a politically educated family, I can't help but react to the most important political event of the world. (Well, doesn’t this sound rather stupid? Why should presidential election in one country gains this much attention? It's America who must concentrate on their four upcoming years not the rest of the world you know?)
Senator John Kerry had commented in his presidential debate that Iran & North Korea were more dangerous than Iraq. Well, at least that's what I guessed from his words. I am not sure if that means that he plans on attacking Iran or not; however I decided to write a few words about it.
Once upon a time there was a region called Mesopotamia. Mesopotamia was a place between tow main rivers in Middle East: Forat & Dejla. & once upon a time Iranian Emperors were ruling over Mesopotamia. But that's all history literally.
As long as I can remember -& that's not so long ago- Iran & Iraq had been enemies. Or I rather say Iranian government didn’t see eye to eye with Iraqis. Though most of Iranians I know would like to visit Iraq since some of our Imam's tombs are located there. We share many points with Iraq: we are Moslems to be specific most of us are sheea.
Still sharing the history & religion doesn’t exactly mean that we would act the same in similar situations for instance in being attacked. I know that we don’t have the most democratic government in the world & I also believe that there are a lot of people here who are classified as Dissenters, yet it is obvious that Iranians don’t want other countries to meddle in their business; since if they feel the need for a change, a revolution will cover it.
Iran is one of the countries in the Middle East which had never been a Colony. Foreignism has never been a desired practice in my country, though I must admit that our affairs had never been devoid of foreign hand.
I don’t know. May be I read too much into Senator Kerry's statements. Yet believe me attacking Iran is not the answer.By the way, I still think Senator Kerry will win the election.

Iran & Iraq: resemblances & differences.

Growing up in a politically educated family, I can't help but react to the most important political event of the world. (Well, doesn’t this sound rather stupid? Why should presidential election in one country gains this much attention? It's America who must concentrate on their four upcoming years not the rest of the world you know?)
Senator John Kerry had commented in his presidential debate that Iran & North Korea were more dangerous than Iraq. Well, at least that's what I guessed from his words. I am not sure if that means that he plans on attacking Iran or not; however I decided to write a few words about it.
Once upon a time there was a region called Mesopotamia. Mesopotamia was a place between tow main rivers in Middle East: Forat & Dejla. & once upon a time Iranian Emperors were ruling over Mesopotamia. But that's all history literally.
As long as I can remember -& that's not so long ago- Iran & Iraq had been enemies. Or I rather say Iranian government didn’t see eye to eye with Iraqis. Though most of Iranians I know would like to visit Iraq since some of our Imam's tombs are located there. We share many points with Iraq: we are Moslems to be specific most of us are sheea.
Still sharing the history & religion doesn’t exactly mean that we would act the same in similar situations for instance in being attacked. I know that we don’t have the most democratic government in the world & I also believe that there are a lot of people here who are classified as Dissenters, yet it is obvious that Iranians don’t want other countries to meddle in their business; since if they feel the need for a change, a revolution will cover it.
Iran is one of the countries in the Middle East which had never been a Colony. Foreignism has never been a desired practice in my country, though I must admit that our affairs had never been devoid of foreign hand.
I don’t know. May be I read too much into Senator Kerry's statements. Yet believe me attacking Iran is not the answer.By the way, I still think Senator Kerry will win the election.

I'm trying to write a post about Iran & the Nuclear Agency. I just don’t understand why Iran's government doesn't cooperate. I really don’t think we want to be next Iraq. Bush & his teamed made up the story & attacked Iraq & look what's happening there everyday.
By the way, most Iranians like John Kerry to win the election! It is rather strange but over the past few weeks most small talks I have heard was either about the Agency or Bush-Kerry competition to win the election. Most people thinks Bush will win but they admit they like Kerry more. I really don’t see the reason behind; cos I remember clearly Kerry said that Iran has been more dangerous than Iraq or Afghanistan. But maybe it's because it is believed that he is not going to attack Iran while it's a generally accepted fact here that sooner or later Bush will confront Iran if he is elected. However, we are not the ones who has to decide about the election. Americans are to elect their president not us.

So many dreams to follow

When you are standing at the doorway of your life & you don’t know which way to go... when you are left alone & it seems there's nothing left to be done... when you feel you can't go on... just give yourself to the lord's hands & let him take care of you.
& you see that light & you find that still there are dreams to be fulfilled... there are roads to take & there is a destination to get to. Just give yourself to the power of His will & follow where the light leads you.... May He take your hand & guide your through that doorway to eternal happiness of being His beloved child.

Wow it's been a while...

Hi... hello? Any body out there remember me? ... Good! I shall be proud of myself!
Hey I'm back & it's the most beautiful season over here... yeah, it's fall! Life is going on really fine & hmmm I think I'm in love! Yes! It feels good to be in love though I still hadn't found that someone I'm in love with (!); yet it doesn't matter does it?You know I figured autumns gets me going a bit crazy.... It looks like that I feel this urge to walk through the neighborhood & smile @ everybody. Or I just want to smell the air & get drunk by the sweet faineance of falling leaves. & to be honest I often find myself dancing down the road while I go for a walk....
Well, I spend the last week of summer over the west side of Iran & I still think about the misty road we passed by. There is such a mystery in that road that almost gets you overwhelmed. While the car is going higher & higher to the peak of the mountain, you sit there very alert & expect something to jump out of mist & draw you to the myth world of Arash....
Had I ever told you about Arash? He is a mythic bowman... & Mr. Kassraie had that myth developed into a poem...: once upon a time Iran had been attacked by Tooran* & Tooranians had obliged a discreditable contract on Iran: the boarder line would be located with an arrow; a bowman had to throw an arrow... the furthest the arrow flew, the largest our country. So Arash the bowman went high on the Damavand Peak (the highest mountain in Iran) & he prayed hard & with the first rays of light stretched his bow... he put all his strength in the arrow & threw it.... the horsemen who was riding after the arrow found it the day after next in a walnut tree over the east part of Iran (in Sistan). Arash's body was never found. He had dedicated his life to the freedom of Iran. It is believed that Arash's soul help the lost travelers in the Alborz Chain Mountains.
*(Tooran is the mysterious & imaginary country in our mythological stories which had been our enemy & often defeated by us.)
I wish you could have read the poem in Persian.... it always make me really emotional. & there is verse about the time Arash heads toward the peak after looking back for the last time at the town where everybody is waiting for his success:
Which roar is falling down on the mountain?
Which song can ever make the sound of the footsteps heading dominantly toward the nonexistence?
I always cry over this part. No matter what others say this is the best part.... when I read it I can hear his footsteps clearly... I feel the morning breeze on my face & I know he is never to come back & I believe he lives eternally in the stones of Alborz.... I don’t remember what I was saying anymore. I keep thinking if I had the choice of saving my country by giving up my life would I have done it? Would I have throw the arrow & become immortal like Arash? Or would it look like a stupid act to me?It's autumn here & everything is so fine.... & I'm in love with that unknown knight who exist in my dreams & there is nothing going wrong....& yeah... I am back!

Yeah... & I'm here kicking & alive, safe & sound! What had happened? Nothing... my PC died! & I mean it! At first my monitor started blinking & went pale & paler till she passed out completely. Then when her doctor saved her life (!) & she got back home, my keyboard died out of a heart attack or something like that. What's more I just didn’t have time to go to a net-café & even check my mails! So it took me this long to update.... I'm still having problems at home so don’t you worry if I didn’t get to update real soon.
& my first paycheck went for the repairman bill! What a nice timing of my PC to go out of order huh?
'K! Must head back home to correct the papers.... the term will be over next Thursday....
Aha yes the newest idiom of my students: bear is a pet animal who sings tweet tweet! & there is more of them on the way....

Isn't it Nice

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He is a friend

What can I say? I know this guy... he has been my friend for the past couple of year. Gosh this is so hard but I need to get this out...
I know he is feeling more than just friends for me, although he never expresses his feelings. He is so obvious that almost everybody knows about his little crush. He always puts on the charm when I am around & being my close friend he knows what I like in a man &... well, you name it, he acts like the dream man & it's fake!
He is too concerned about my health that he checks on me every so on. & if he figures I don’t feel well... then he would not stop until I meet my doctor, always making sure I get the best place when we are going out.... I don’t know all these little stuffs.
He is a good friend, a very good friend indeed! He has always been there for me. He has been a shoulder to cry on, a charmer, & a joker when I needed to laugh! I know.... but the point is I don’t feel anything even near romance for him. I tried my best to start loving him back... but simply I couldn’t. I love him as a friend & I don’t want to lose him.
I'm trying hard to make him understand this. Yet he doesn’t get the signs. & even a little interest from my side would make him become firmer in his feelings (whatever it is). I don’t want to lead him on. He is much better than to be played with & God knows I care for him & I don’t know what I can do to stop him from getting hurt.
I know I promised to write about movies but I needed to write this. Maybe he would read this.... I'm just hopeless & every time he calls I'm afraid he might confess his feelings. & every time we want to go out I plan that someone be around & we would never be alone. Lord help me with this one....

Watching movies in Tehran...

Unlike other countries, going to a movie hall is not very popular between Iranians. Most people I know prefer to watch a DVD at home than to go to the movies. It's cheaper; & more comfortable. Still, this doesn’t mean that we don’t watch movies.
A movie hall is a cool place to hang out for a while. Most young couples find movie halls a good place for spending some time together, holding hands &.... but I must admit that I really don’t like to go to a movie hall with my gang; to be honest, we are so noisy & loud that we often get some hushes during the movie.
Movie theaters over here are not very cozy & facilitated. This could be a reason that folks don’t like to spend their time there. Most of the time, some thing is wrong or out of order. Another reason could be the fact that the price is a bit high. & of course folks choose to watch a movie at home when they can pay one-tenth of the price for a better movie....
Yet, when a good movie like MARMOOLAK (the lizard) is released, you must book your seats a weak ahead if you don’t want to miss it; alright at least if you want to watch it a good movie hall.
Farhang is one of the best movie halls over here in Tehran. It had been renovated & refurnished. The movie hall is very friendly & welcoming & another point that makes it popular is the fact that you can watch latest foreign (English & non-English) movies in their original languages (Which is a very important factor for me when I choose a movie). Farhang is located on SHARIATI Street, north of Tehran.
Another movie hall that I might choose is ESTEGHLAL, which is located in Vali-Asr Street. & as I think about it more, ASR JADID in TALEGHANI Street is another movie hall I would recommend.
Now, enough about movie halls remind me to write more on movies next time.

Vowels in Farsi

In Farsi we don’t have vowels. We have some symbols to indicate the sound of them but it is not usually written in a text. & only first-graders use those symbols; so most of my students thought that using A, E or I is not necessary.... it took me some time to teach them to write the letters properly. Last time they had diction I reminded them to "use the vowels". The result was good except one of my students who wrote the Farsi symbols instead of the letters!

My cute student

I was teaching "can" & "can't" to my students the other day. & there was a gorgeous 10-year old girl in the class; she looks like a model even now. Well, I asked her "can you walk?" & guess what she answered!
"Yes, I cat walk."
& ever since then, every time I look at her I see her in a cat suit modeling!

A friend of mine passed away...

I'm still in a shock.... she died in a car accident with her husband. & I think how fate can do this to the most perfect, in-love couple. How this could happen to people with so many dreams yet to be accomplished? I'll be alright in a while; my friends will be alright too. But their parents will never be the same again. I wish there could be something to be done. I wish this pain could subsided, that the wound of loss could be healed

My Stupid Mistake

OOpps! I knew what SALOON mean in English! but I was too tired to notice my mistake. In French & also In Farsi Saloon is a big Hall where you can fit many people @ once & there are seats &....
what I meant by saloon was this kind of a room. a hall, or a waiting room, you know the kind that leads to a coridor & all other parts of the bulding...
& thanks for correcting my mistake. It meant a lot to me.

The new method is working!

Well, I still have problem with my hyper student but the others are adapting themselves easily with my method.
I used to review all the last sessions in the beginning of the class so my student would get into the mood for a new English lesson & then I would teach the new material & repeat it.
But now that I started teaching alphabet & letters, I changed my timing schedules. I teach the oral part (like the concept of family or colors or...) after a short review of the related subjects; then I would teach letters (which happens to be my students' favorite part). & at last I ask questions student by student & check their handwritings & we discuss their problems. This usually takes more time than expected so I take my student to saloon & as soon as they're done, they can go home. Most of my students prefer to stay in the saloon & do their home work while I'm asking questions.
A very huge obstacle in teaching English to youngsters is the fact that most of them are forced to come to the classroom. I mean they can't figure why they are learning a foreign language & our reasons (like oversee travels or computers) don’t satisfy them.
Oh yeah; I must tell you.... I guess I have to teach for the next couple of months! Let's see if I can get adapted or what!

He Died.... God Rest His Soul... 

I think I will quit!

I really don’t know if the management should get involve in every _ I mean every!_ detail of every class or what?
For the past 2 weeks I had difficulties with one of my students... he is a bit hyper & I really can't control him. He is 7 years old & I thought he would do better in a lower level with less discipline in the classroom, since he is always standing in the middle of the class & he never pays attention to what I'm saying. So I had a talk with management & her mother was there to make a decision about him attending my class. & the result is he is staying. Well, I really don’t want to get into the details but my boss spend the whole time of last session in my class repeating the lesson for him! & well, unfortunately, she had never taught English & she kept meddling with teaching telling my students what to do. Then she told me that I was "say to much 'be quite' or 'why are you talking" in the classroom!
I really don’t like it when people who don’t have the actual knowledge tell me what to do. I asked to divide my class into tow classes so I could have more time with my students. It was rejected. So I asked them to find a sub teacher for the class.
I think I should have never tried for the teaching job! But anyway I learned something & that's the best of the experience; so there is nothing to regret.
I never thought I would give up so easily. I used to fight for the things I would start. If I had any doubt, I would not start something but this once.... Well, I'm going to spend the rest of my days as a teacher with a new method. I hope it would work....
The only thing I wish is my students would remember me as a nice teacher. That's all for now.
I have class tomorrow... pray for my nerve.