Friday, June 30, 2006

It’s officially over.

We broke up & I feel free. I feel like I can fly. I never knew commitment could become a prison suffocating someone’s freedom to the extent that the soul begins to wither.
We’re still friends, if that would be what he could manage with & I don’t like to think that I hurt him. I just hope he would well-off on his own merry way.
Having a boyfriend was the stupidest mistake I ever done in my life.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Never Been the commitment type?

No... Commitment is good as long it does not cut your wings!
I'm the bird you cannot keep... You can only enjoy the song!

Monday, June 19, 2006

My Job Account has banned blogspot!

You wont believe it! They have found a word in the address as the 'Adult Maretial' which is blo..gspot. I can post in my blog through blogger & read the comments by turning on the comment moderation but I cannot view my blog myself! Isn't it strange?
I'm off to a trip this week & I'm looking forward to it. After the whole things that happened here at work I really need a break.
Sometime ago I thought "ok... maybe it's me who cannot work with jerks" but now it seems that the Jerks cant work with me.
My crew had gained an acknowlgment for our 'outstanding efforts concerning improvements on health issues' & yet the acknowlegment had turned into a tool to justify the wrong-doings of the contractor. We work hard, design healthy foods & struggle to make it as we are planned & someone else take credit of it!
It seems that I'm risking my job being 'the extreamist'! Whatever....
By the way, I need to exercise more. I started walking to the tower (my workplace) in the morning & that means I have to wake sooner! I had never been an early bird so that's kind of a problem. Yet I'm determind to do it. I need to find a way to let out the stress.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Being indifferent?

Ed you asked me why I was being indifferent to the whole situation going on in Iran. Why I did not mention anything about Women’s Right Demonstration where ladies have been beaten up by women! & why did I not react to the news that Government is going to classify minor religions over here? And why I act like ‘the only important matter you’re dealing with is the bastard over there at work’? you wanted to know if I had been there in the demonstration, if I consider the general atmosphere dangerous?
Yes! I had been there…. & yes I have seen my fellow-country-mates getting black & bruised. But what is the point of my writing? Over here is blog-land, where news is up-to-second there are hundreds of people (men & women) writing about it. I do appreciate their work of art as they enlighten the world about the situation we are in; however, there should be people like me who show the world the daily, uninteresting, tedious life.
Yes I had been there & I had witnessed the soldiers in that part of Tehran. I was not brave enough to join the demonstration but I had been there. And yes, I do participate in some NGOs regarding social matters, yet I do not live in fear on a daily basis.
What all these information does to Iranians outside Iran? They feel the ones down here are living in a hell, & they don’t have freedom to express themselves. That’s true to some extent, but you have to be here to understand the situation…. It’s not that dark here & we are not suffocating, At least not the ones who don’t want to!
I do face a lot of injustice everyday…. I’m looked down on cos I am woman. I see the needy trying to survive & I do find it hard sometimes to shut my mouth up on the racism against other religions than Islam. You are right! But could you tell me it’s different somewhere else?
Can you ensure me that if I immigrate to some idle place I would not face any of these injustice? Can you tell me that I would not be overlooked due to my religion, race or sex? Can I have the freedom to argue about the political policies of the government over there? Do you have the freedom to shout what you think of environment status, & if you do, does it make a difference?
I’m not being indifferent! No! I’m just trying to write my dairy here in world wide web. The daily life of someone who is not sophisticated enough to get caught up in the complicity of the world around her. People outside Iran need to see the routine life under the pressure. They need not to worry more than what they do now. I don’t want nice people like Alice worry themselves over us. We are still living… still fighting & still hopeful of a better life!

Monday, June 12, 2006

WorldCup & Me!

What the heck! I mean I had always been a soccer fan... a hard core one on that. & I guess it does not help that my national team is playing in the event! Soccer World Cup is one event where a lot of people all over the world take part in. When you are Iranian, Football ran through your blood like politics. You cannot avoid it!
However, today I am much disappointed in Team Melli's Coach, Goal-Keeper & the Attacker. Due to personal mistakes we lost to Mexico last night.... Which evokes the question that why would our coach put the one goal-keeper in the main who had recieve 11 goals in 2 not-so-important-home matches while there were younge & talented ones wasting their watching the show?

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Keeping in Touch with Friends

I had been reading dear Lynn's Blogs a few days ago & I came across with her post about keeping in touch with friends & since I cannot leave her comments (due to the fact that my internet supplier filter them), I thought I leave it here for her to see it & maybe share it with others.
I have a friend whom I haven't met since 4 years ago & haven't talk to since almost a year ago, still I consider her my friend.... Cos friendship to me is not about the time you spend with eachother, it's more about the way they stand up for you & the way you feel about them. I know that she will be here anytime I need her & visa versa if she goes (God forbid) into any trouble I would stand by her till the End. Friendship as Lynn had mentioned needs working on. You need to stay in touch & to give in order to maintain it, however. There is saying in Persian which goes: "One who is out of eyes (in not in sight), is out of hearts (is forgotten)." & that is true most of the times.
Yet there are times when I dont feel like being nice to my friends. There are times I wish to be left alone & I wish to abandon everyone & close up. A good friend will definitely understand my need for loneliness. They will understand that I need my own time to rearrange myself. & a while later I will go back & make it up to them.
On the other hand, sometimes spending time apart would enforce the friendship. It will let you consider the possible ways to improve the relationship & figure out the points that you could not see while inside the relationship.
Anyhow, Dear Lynn I'm gratefull that you keep in touch with me.
PS: El... if you ever get to read this post, I just want you know I still love you & You're always in my heart. Your Twin.

Thursday, June 01, 2006


Well, I want to dedicate this post to my friends on whom I have not updated for a while. It’s not that I have been ignoring them; it’s just that I never wanted to believe that we have changed.
What happened to that old gang who used to play around & have fun? We set out to find what life has stored in bag for us.
At school we used to hang out & do almost everything jointly. We managed homework, projects & curricular activities together, doing our best creating a world of success around us. WE were invincible.
Then life moved on; & we moved on as well. Boys attended military service & we started working each one in a different field. The gang still meets up every now & then however the time is too limited for us who used to be together 24/7.
Pat, Mat & Lolly-pop have started their own hydroponic Strawberry farm & are planning a packaging unit for their farm just as they got out of military services. Ava works for a reputable confectionary factory as R&D manager.
Miss Poetess is getting her masters degree & is about to get married to wealthy guy. She & Teddy sort of fell out of the gang & they headed their own way.
Miss Sensitive had gotten married a while ago & moved to north of Iran with her husband, though she is still attending our get-togethers as much as she can & have stay in touch. She is the technical manager of a preserving company.
Mamoosh is now working as the head manager of one of our friend’s factory. She is very well respected & very successful in her career. Her boyfriend is planning their wedding in the near future.
And then there’s me, who still work as food hygiene expert & I try to do my best but sometimes it’s hard to cooperate with the stupid guys around me.
& yeah, I’m breaking up with my boyfriend… there is nothing wrong with him or our relationship but I feel bored & disappointed cos love was not what I always thought it would be. There is no argument, no harm, not a single disagreement yet I feel caged & sentenced to commitment at the verge of suffocating. I need my privacy back. I need to be on my own. I need to feel free of the guilt that I don’t share my time & interests with him. He had been a very nice guy, too romantic sometimes but I feel like throwing up whenever I heard a sentimental word. Isn’t that strange? I had always been the touchy-feely one, however I move away from him recently.
It’s not him. It’s me. & I don’t know what to do. I tried to talk him into breaking up but it’s not working. He is not ready to let go & that’s bad. What shall I do?