Christmas Here!

Well, It's been so long that I have not written anything here... I wish I did but I was not in the mood... It's Christmas... It's gonna be my birthday soon & I'm just not feeling it!
What I feel is cold & lonesome... I feel like everyone is claimimg my time on these very special days...
Anyhow! That's just me being nasty & b!chy about my upcoming birthday... We have a lot of guests this weekend & then I will be out everynight for at least the fortnight to come! Way to be left alone!

Day-to-Day Survival

It has been a long time since I have written anything here... I guess it's more or less because I write in my other blogs... mainly short texts, but still, I feel bad for neglecting my first & foremost blog!

My daily life has turned into a very boring rutine: I wake up at 6:30, do the morning rituals of shower, make-up, breakfast & I'm present at work or in school by 8! Do the same old, same old & have lunch at 12! Then I swich to the other: if I had been at work in the morning, I go to school, if I had been in school, I go back to work... I would stay till 6:30 in the evening... same old, same old... then depending on my schdual I do something different & then I get home by 9 & I talk on phone till 10! & I study a bit & then sleep!

Each Sunday, I go to my conversation class, once a week I go to the movies usually on Saturdays, I go on jogging sessions 3 times a week & most weekends (Thursdays & Fridays) we have guests....

From outside: it looks like a busy, tight, exciting plan.... from my point of view: day-to-day survival...

I plan on taking Italian classes soon... & start going to gym, if I find a good one. That might help to get me unloaded... If only I could wake up sooner then I might have actaully made it to the exercise session in the park near us!

The Autumn

I always loved the autumn… it kind of gives me the feeling of change; you know… every thing speed up a bit. Life gets higher, faster & more tangible. It seems that out in the street you can touch life, you know; it's there with the kids throwing their bags over their shoulders, moms putting snacks in it, dads crossing them over the street….

Anyways, today is the first day of autumn here… & I kinda like walking in the street & get high on the buzz intoxicating me from every corner. It's like suddenly the city has woken up, like the dragging of summer is at last finished.

My Birthday reading:

Well, Seems I'm getting into these funny things for now:
:)

The moon's phase on the day you wereborn was waning crescent.
Your birth tree is:

Apple Tree, the Love
Of slight build, lots of charm, appeal and attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive, always in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a carefree philosopher with imagination.

Your birthstone is Blue Zircon
The Mystical properties of Blue Zircon
Zircon helps one be more at peace with oneself. Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Blue Topaz, Ruby, Lapis Lazuli

Your lucky day is Saturday.
Your lucky number is 8.
Your ruling planet(s) is Saturn & Uranus.
Your lucky dates are 8th, 17th, 26th.
Your opposition sign is Cancer.
Your opposition number(s) is 2 & 7.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Goose; your plant is Bramble.
You were born in the Egyptian month of Famenoth, the third month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).
Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 24 Tevet 5741.Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 25 Tevet 5741.
The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.7.10.0 which is12 baktun 18 katun 7 tun 10 uinal 0 kin
The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Wednsday, 23 Safar 1401 (1401-2-23).

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2444604.5.
The golden number for 1980 is 5.
The epact number for 1980 is 13.The year 1980 was a leap year.

You were born on a Wednesday under the astrological sign Capricorn.
Your Life path number is 7.
Life Path Compatibility:You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 4 & 22.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 9.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 3, 6, 8 & 11.

What Does My Name Mean?

Thanks to: http://www.paulsadowski.com/NameData.asp

There are 16 letters in your name.
Those 16 letters total to 77
There are 8 vowels and 8 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:

Teutonic	Female	Famous in war.
German	Female	Renowned warrior.
French	Female	Feminine form of Louis: Famous warrior. Renowned fighter.

Your number is: 5

The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom.

The expression or destiny for #5:
The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.

If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests.

Your Soul Urge number is: 8

A Soul Urge number of 8 means:
With an 8 soul urge, you have a natural flair for big business and the challenges imposed by the commercial world. Power, status and success are very important to you. You have strong urges to supervise, organize and lead. Material desires are also very pronounced. You have good executive abilities, and with these, confidence, energy and ambition.

Your mind is analytical and judgment sound; you're a good judge of material values and also human character. Self-controlled, you rarely let emotions cloud judgment. You are somewhat of an organizer at heart, and you like to keep those beneath you organized and on a proper track. This is a personality that wants to lead, not follow. You want to be known for your planning ability and solid judgment.

The negative aspects of the 8 soul urge are the often dominating and exacting attitude. You may have a tendency to be very rigid, sometimes stubborn.

Your Inner Dream number is: 6

An Inner Dream number of 6 means:
You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.

Embrassed!

How Addicted Are You to Blogging?

84%

Mingle² - Dating Site

Wana find your addictation?

Hoder & Persian Bloggers...

You might not know Hossein Derakhshan but I'm sure if your an Iranian blog fan, you have heard of the blog : Editor:Myself.
Hoder is the first Iranian Blogger & he is the one who started leting us know what privilages we might have using a new feature of communication.
Though I might personally not agree with some of his ideas, when I heard that his blog is being blocked by his ISP under the pressure, I felt I had to take part in letting people know how we feel about him.
He might not be very popular but HE is the person we owe a lot of things to. & HE has the RIGHT to speak his mind, even if we do not like him to do so. :D
What I want to say is that please sign this petition & let people know how you support a member of our virtual society.

French First Lady...

What's this with people & expecting her to live up to a role model, always be there for her husband & doing what she herself claims would "bore" her?

She is a woman, she has the right to step up for herself & does what she thinks is right, like what she did in Libia.... She is not a doll, a mute companian, a jewel to be showed off by her husband.

She is blamed that she does not support her husband, tell me if I am wrong, but how on earth do we know Sarkozys to be judgeing them?

It's time we back off & consider the classic role of a married woman... she is an individual not a companian. She is capabale of having her own schdual which may or may not revolve around her 'successful' husband's life!

To me, Cécilia Sarkozy is a pretty interesting woman... she is standing up against the cliche'.

& NY Times can stop fretting... A lot of people actually like Cécilia Sarkozy's attitude.

BLOG DAY 2007 on August 31...

Well... I haven't been here for a while now but something grabbed my attention in Dr. Majidi's blog.... It's blogday time!

So, here I am & I think about the blogs I wanna write about....

I would like to write about Dear Lynne, Dear Magical Droplets, Cesar of Pentra, Sunnaz & my Grandpa's old blog...

Past Life?

Loved the link...
Try it...
You may figure out something...:

Your past life diagnosis:

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Austria around the year 725. Your profession was that of a dramatist, director, musician or bard.

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:

You always liked to travel and to investigate. You could have been a detective or a spy.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:

Your lesson is to conquer jealousy and anger in yourself and then in those who will select you as their guide. You should understand that these weaknesses are caused by fear and self-regret.
Do you remember now?

The American Physics Team in Iran

Oh, my God! Just check this link & You'll figure out what I'm talking about... It was so fun!

Your makeup must-have is Mascara

Wink wink! Sophisticated and chic, it's no surprise your makeup essential is a total classic. While you can be counted on to bring the style wherever you go, you're also not the sort to follow every silly fashion craze to hit the streets. Instead, you manage to hit the perfect note each time, whether you're buttoning up or letting your hair down.Tasteful and level-headed, it's no surprise others head your direction for fashion advice. After all, while you can sometimes err on the side of caution, you've always got the right look for the right time and the right place. Way to stay in mode!

Hmmm... Nice to Know...

Ossama Bin Laden Son is Married to a British Woman...

My, My, My... I got a good kick out of the story... hope u like it too!

WOW! Check this out...

Check this link... Just pick what first comes to your mind... & pick the pictures...

My Horoscope for Sunday!

Sorry I could not resist: :D

Some things you do for money, some things you do for love, and some things you do just to piss people off -- that's your personal favorite motivation, and you're damn good at it!

BookCity & I

Why do I love buying books in this place?

Maybe because I have a knack of buying books? Or maybe because I love to stop by & and watch.

I go there, put my HUGE bag on a chair & leave all my stuff there & then I go browsing the books... I pick some up, order a cup of tea & I start reading... then I choose the next one & the next one.. & the next one.... while I sip my tea & marvel the taste & the smell & get lost in the book, others come & go & no one person even bothers me...

Then I pack the books, go to seller who knows me too well, sometimes the guides there just hand me the 'thing' I'm looking for or they recommand even not buy a book or they offer me to read the whole book there, listen to the whole CD & just plain not to buy them. Anyways, I go to the bookseller, I ask him to wrap the books for me & I pay with my card.

I always forget to deliver the note of purchase at the door & they always let me slide on that & then when I get out I see that I have lost like one third of my salary & still I feel good.

Although, it's a superstore where usually you dont expect to be treated on a personal level, I always find it surprisingly customized to my taste. I'm treated like a special customer & they offer personilized help, it is amazing how the know when I had enough & when to stop... that's a big problem of mine... I hate other places just becuase they seem to push you to buy!

Anyways, I plain love the place. I might take pictures next time & share it with you.

Smoke Ban!

I wish we had the same thing here... I could shoot some dear friends for a reason then!

Ps: Actually we do have the same thing, BUT no one even cares about it. People smoke during work hours in the stairs (we have no smoking area), they smoke in the cafes & as a very outgoing person that makes HUGE problems for me & the funnier point is that a smoker told me

'You could stop coming to the cafe if you dont like smoke'

You get the picture.

Love Colors On Tickle

Ha?

Whether you're in a crowd of people or one-on-one, you can be the life of the party. In fact, dazzling people with your snappy repartee is likely a favorite pastime of yours. Your clever, observant nature can make you a real ace when it comes to picking up on life's humorous details. You're also one who doesn't typically shy away from being the center of attention. As a result, in the right mood, you're the type who will actually seek out the spotlight. Whether you're keeping friends in stitches during a night on the town, or telling jokes to that special stranger you just met, you seem to have a talent for making people laugh. This irreverence and love of fun can draw others to you and make you a prized partner. However, for witty types like you it's important to both know your audience and know when to quit. Some of your opinions and the dark things that you find amusing may not sit so well with everyone.When it comes to relationships, you may prefer to focus on fun times, excitement, and the physical high of sex, rather than becoming overly involved in a deep emotional connection with your partner. If you find that this is indeed your predisposition, make it known. It's important to be open and forthcoming from the beginning. That way the two of you can stay on the same page when it comes to relationship priorities. By seeking out a person who'll be sexually and emotionally compatible with you from the start, you can help avert heartache later on.You have a more passionate nature than most. Ultimately, you're one to believe that love is all enduring and that true love will weather the storm. At times, this emotional fire may get away from you, causing you to do or say things that you may later regret. As a result, types like you will tend to flourish most with a partner who doesn't take these mood shifts to heart. By understanding and accepting you during your darker moments, your mate can also be there to enjoy you at your most high. Indeed you can be a very exciting person to be with. Just try not to take your behavior to extremes or your romantic partner's acceptance for granted. Everyone wants to feel cared for and valued.In or out of relationships, you are a pretty easygoing person who can usually accept criticism with a grain of salt. So if a lover, friend, or colleague were to offer you some constructive feedback, you probably wouldn't take it personally. However, that doesn't mean their words would fall on deaf ears. In fact, you're the kind of person who's likely to make yourself a better person by incorporating their ideas. This trait can make you a joy to know, particularly in the context of a romantic relationship.

Been Tagged By Magical Droplets

1. Last movie you saw in a theater?


Music & Lyrics (Ok I know... It was the 100th time! But What Can I Do? It's Hugh Grant dude!)

2. What book are you reading?
My Shame... I'm not reading much recently! Ok... I read some short stories by J.D. Salinger & "Louise Amour" by Boben.

3. Favorite board game?
Chess... hmm... I kinda feel like playing it right now!

4.Favorite magazine?
Used to be NewsWeek... no Finantial times (hey does that even count?)

5. Favorite smell?
The smell of snow... what? I love snow!

6. Favorite food? Ghorme Sabzi!

7. Favorite sound?
The rain hitting the window while I listen to light music & sip my tea...

8. Worst feeling in the world?
You know when you think you're doing someone's a favor & it turns out that you have been hurting them all along?

9. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
How about another 5 minutes? I can't let my pillow be without me... that's cruel to him!

10. Favorite fast food place?
Raz Pizza in Tehran.

11. Future child’s name?
Boy's Name: Nastihan, Givmart, Girl: Proshat (hey.. u know that it's a nick name right?), Parnian

12. Finish this statement. If I had a lot of money:....
I dont think that would change a lot about me...

13. Do you drive fast?
Fast? Who? Me? NOOOO! You dont call 150 km/h fast, do you?

14. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Hmm... a dog named 'Stupid', a Bear called 'Blue Berry', A Cat called 'Piiiiishiiiii'

15. Storms cool or scary?
Cool...

16. What was your first car?
206... but well I dont drive much.

17. Favorite drink?
Coca Light. Orange Juice

18. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would…”:
I would have had more fun! (not that I dont have fun at all... poor me! I'm only out 5 nights a week... that's not too much is it?)

19. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
Ok... ok... let's see... I'm the health food expert... BUT that does not mean I enjoy eating the health food!

20. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
I rather have shades... like now... my hair has this unusual charecter about it that the color changes with the angel of sunlight. I have my hair highlighted a shade lighter but it's totally natural color.

21. Name all the different cities/ towns you have lived in?
TEHRAN... Damn I love the city too well, to even start living soemwhere else.

22. Half empty or half full?
Depends on the mood!

23. Favorite sports to watch?
FOOTBALL

25. Morning person, or night owl?
Morning?!!!! My brain does not function before noon!

26. Over easy, or sunny side-up?
Do I have to answer that?

27. Favorite place to relax?
MY BED! Hmmm... ok my old bedroom! I loved the view.

28. Favorite pie?
ApplePie!

Now... I tag Sunnaz, Lynne & Geominer to play!

I Found MY Friend!

I just don't believe it!

here she is... a friend from my elementary school!

YUUUUHOOOOOOOO!

Hey I Thought I was BLUE

Your Inner Color is Yellow

Your Personality: Life's too short not to have fun. Your bright energy brings joy and laughter to those around you. You in Love: A total flirt, you need a lot of freedom to play. But you'll be loyal to that one person who makes you feel safe. Your Career: You love variety in a job, and you probably won't stick with one career. You would make a great professor, writer, or actor.

What's Your Inner Color?

More on Se6ual Relationships

Last Thursday when my friend, Sunnaz, & I were riding home a debate started on what we really act toward se6ual relationships. We started talking about an engaged friend of ours & whether we think 'she' is still a vir8in or not, or even she had come close to having a se6ual affair with her 'fiancé'. Not that we are nosy, well, I admit I am a bit, however, the question was more of a general one… whether a modern girl in Iran understands the significance of trying even a subtle physical relationship before taking a huge step towards an enormous commitment? Then on Friday, I went for a visit to another friend's. & she was so troubled & so unsure of herself, just trying to get hitched & satisfy her natural needs… & my heart broke at the sight before me… a very fair & intelligent young lady swimming in the abyss of depression just because she was denied of her rights… more by herself & her self-imposed limits than anything else. & I suddenly shivered 'cuz I could see myself heading toward where she is now in 5 years!

How do we, as somewhat intellectual women, really feel & think about se6ual affairs? Do we really think it is necessary to have physical intimacy in a relationship? What do we need & how important it is to please them?

So let's take the debate to a more personal level. Both, my friend & I had been brought up in a rather open-minded family where se6uality & male-female relations had never been an issue. We were taught that we are a person before being a girl, that we have the same right as the boys. Se6 was never the issue of discussion though. Most of my own se6ual education comes from the books that were provided for us… lying around so we could pick them up & read. That's were most of my other basic knowledge got formed, but well, that's another story.

We like to think ourselves as a modern frameless spirits, yet even in our limitlessness, I don't consider myself as courageous to perform "taboo" tasks! I mean yeah, I for sure have broken some rules but then again, they never went beyond a boundary. This has been the same for the issue of physical intimacy.

I'm a vir8in & I'm happy to keep it that way… Well, at least till I find the one person committed in a relationship. Once in my life I had a boyfriend. He was not mature enough to even be the start of a se6ual relationship by any means; sure there had been kisses & hugs but that never led to anywhere but me hating him even more. It's not that I don't like physical attention, visa versa, I'm the touchy-feely one; but I felt dirty about it! I felt used because I did not love him… & I felt it was not right…. So there I was trying to clear my morals for myself with no success.

While talking to Sunnaz though, I had an intuition: I was going to try a physical relationship. I'm not ready to lose vir8inty yet, but hell, what's wrong with a little fun?

It was funny; tow grown-ups talking about se6 like it's some kind of taboo with a hushed voice & nervous laughter. I started to grow more confident as we spoke though. I thought to myself if I can theorize about right of free-se6, then for sure I could practice it. We could practice it. She might get out of this God-forsaken town & I want her to try intimacy with a guy, try having a physical relation with someone. She deserves to set free & have fun & have experiences she could not have here. I encourage her to go wild & enjoy her life! She said something that I keep thinking about: "I don't want to get married, just because I want to get laid!" & we're both not ready for any commitment…. Why should we think that marriage is the only way of….

Damn… I know I'm all talks & when it comes to practice, I rather sit aside & encourage others on! That's why I said I'm a hypocrite!

Morals in a se6ual Relationship

Se6ual relationship has been the issue on my mind for quite a long time now. I have come to the conclusion that I act rather hypocritical toward the issue, though.

I mean I believe that being in love & being committed is enough to make 'love-making' ethical. Therefore, there should be no taboos for 2 people in love (regardless of the se*, age & all that Junk) to show their commitment toward each other by uniting their bodies, the way their souls should be united. Love is the only legal reason in my opinion to be intimate with someone; whether they are married or not is out of question of course… that's nobody's business!

On the other hand, any se6ual relationship is naughty way of having fun… let morals rest a bit & go wild! Let your body take control & take a well earned prize! What's wrong with 2 friends who trust each other to have a more physical 'friendship' while they are not committed to any other souls out there? What's wrong with having fun in the first place? Would se* bring commitment all by itself? Should these 2 be bound in a stricter frame just because they had fun?

Then I remember; Pleasure is a sin! & both frames do not work here in the constricted social ethics of this God forsaken country! Se* is referred to as 'marital relationship' which sums it all: no se8ual relationships out of marriage bounds! What about Homos, free souls & commitment-phoebes? What about the ones who have not found their soul mates yet & they are willing to wait to commit?

Then the next issue pops in my mind… what about the virtue of vir8inity? Is virginity a virtue at all? Should a body be only for one person forever for always & more?

I have no answers yet…. I see my friends who are committed in a relationship & are afraid of share some lovin' & I see other friends who have wild nights secretly & then boast about their 'virginity'… I also see friends of mine who have not been ready for any kind of commitment & now they are trapped in a bad marriage just because…. All of them are close & dear to my heart but none seems to have a healthy se* life….

Proshat

A Math Student Love Letter:

I laughed so hard, it hurt!

Thanks to my LostLord Here is the text:

My Dear Love,

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular
house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden.Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you
into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.
You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.

Yours ever loving,x*y*z

Iran - US

Tomorrow is the day...
They are going to negotiate after all these long years...
I'm frightened...
What will that be... for my country &for my people?

Dresses...

A heartless b!tch… that's what I'm called sometimes. I don't get hurt… I'm used to being called names & being treated like a freak & well, honestly, most of the time I take it as a complement… just a projection of their fear of my abilities.

I know that's the price I pay for going my way… for standing out & daring to be me, regardless of the surroundings. For instance, I wear whatever I feel comfortable in… & mostly my clothes have the same base… not a very short manto, a loose scarf which a lot of hairs uncovered, a jean or a comfortable pair of dress pants & snickers or sandals… rarely high heels. Hmm, that's a very conservative look actually in my own opinion but well, some people just find it, let's say, unorthodox!!!!

As you might have learned, I work in a governmental company… big one, mind you! & I have been criticized over what I wear!!! Nope, they did not tell me face to face or there is no letter or anything but recently I hear more female collogues coming to me with the information that some men are really bothered by the way I dress & think that it's inappropriate for the work!!!!

Then there are my friends who sometimes ask me if I can't be more 'fashionable'?!!! That's weird! Being called a lousy fashion suicide & a B!tch the same time!

More Cave Photos:

I love Caves... I wish I had some of Alisadr's photos here too. But well, I failed to have the in a secure place & I lost all of them!!! Stupid Me!

You know what I love most about Water-Caves... The cool breeze & the gentle silence of the water beneth your feet.... It's so perfect & mysterious...

Sahoolan Cave In NorthWest Of Iran

the enterance

Photo Credits:

• Proshat

• khanchooban

• Rafael

A trip To Zanjan

Ok... we drived the 400 Km ride only to have lunch in the city & come back! So what? It was fun!

The Scenes where splendidly eye-catching & The weather was just nice!

That's my sis taking pictures of my best friend!

Photos by: Proshat

I'm afriad it's not only women!

Dear Lynne,
I'm afraid it's not only women who are under being 'cracked down' here! There are young boys being accused too. They shall not dress like women as it's called here! They shall not wear ties, short sleeves or do their hair in messy bushes (Well, the only good point in my opinion personally... I would freak whenver I would see a boy who have treated his hair like a lady in a most fashionable party!)
It's been really strange here... & I dont think this pressure would solve anything... It only spreads hatered!

Have You heard of What's going on?

No…? Well, Police is taking care of 'Street women'! & the definition of a one is: the one who is not dressed appropriately!

What? I can't hear you... What doers appropriate means? Oh, I have not figured out yet!

A little hair… a little flesh… make-up… new hairdos… I don't know.

The only thing I know is, that every time I pass a police station, I feel my heart beating in my throat for the fear of someone grabbing me & scolding me…. Hmm? I do not wear extra-ordinary clothes… nor do I act abnormally (well, considering what is NORMAL… this sentence can turn untrue!), in fact, I am more of the next person who walks in the street… plain Jane that is. However, that's no help! Since, I have seen the freaks get away & the plain Janes get all the scolds! So I fear, & that fear is killing me…. I feel I have no choice to be myself! & maybe if I had a choice, I did not change the way I was, but now, I feel I might want to get a bit rebellious & wear the freaky cloths!

 

 

------------------------------------------------
National Iranian Gas Company
http://www.nigc.ir
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Are You as bookworm as I am?
Then Go check out this site:
Goodreads
You can add me as a friend... just tell me you are the from blogspot...

My Office

Well, not always this messy but whatever!

Sunnaz Has Written a Piece On 'Death'

Check her piece & tell me how you feel.
She has a way with words...

On Top of The World

This Picture has been taken from the top of the buliding I work in.

And this is the top floor of the same bulding! Nice little garden!

Spring Is Here

The park near my place

They're Free Now... But for how much longer?

I Got My Internet Back!

Thanks God!


I was losing my mind! It's good to be back!

The Answer To My Own Magical Droplet!

Your Aura is Blue

Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life. You are very giving of yourself. And it's hard for you to let go of relationships. The purpose of your life: showing love to other people Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor

What Color Is Your Aura?

Nuclear News...

Dear All,

It's going to be announced tonight…. I can't say what, because I have to consider confidentiality. Yet, it's not going to be good. I just hope all this propaganda would not lead us to war.

I can't conceal my fears. I can't say that I predict anything positive in it… true… I love my country. God knows I love the land I was born in; I would be proud of any real improvement, however, I don't feel that there is a real improvement in the news….

I hate to say it, but I have to say it… We WILL probably end up like Iraq… devastated & tortured under rule of strangers. I'm afraid.

The days of me...

Dear All,

It's been a very busy day here at work. First, I had a meeting which did not go quite well & then a retired colleague came here who, unfortunately is really talkative & nosy. She, rather enthusiastically, wanted to know when will I get married, what have I bought for myself in the past month, did I change my cell-phone, what kind of new things are here, who is the new guy beside my desk, do I intend to marry an associate of mine who happen to be very handsome & comes from a good background & is very likely to move up the ladder quickly, why does he not propose to me, why he is not interested me, why he has gotten engaged without her permission!!!!!

Then we had some problems with the contractor, same old, same old!

So here I sit, at the end of a hard day, counting the minutes to be able to flee! What the heck, they might just as well kill me.

Ok… off to studies I go!

You take care,

Regards,

Proshat

A Letter To A Friend

Dear Sir,

I just thought to send you a mail. It seems that recently we're moving so fast & we're stuck in a whirlwind of emotion that takes us higher & higher & make us act out of our minds.

Where are we going really? Are we going to end up cold & scared when it's all over? When would this bewilderment be over in the first place? Is there an end to it or are we just gonna be frantic weirdo friends for the rest of our lives, doing God-Knows all kinds of stuff?

Have you ever wondered that maybe, maybe we are heading somewhere? That maybe this specific road will lead us to commitment which we both are very frightened of? Would that be as bad as we think?

You ask me if I love you. What does 'love' really mean? What is "LOVE"? Is it the physical need to be as close to you as possible? Is it the urge to breathe your breath & touch your skin or you are thinking of a shudder whenever you reach out for me? Then, no, I don't love you…. I do am in desperate need of your touch but it's not your body I dream of. It's the mystery behind you… the glint of wisdom in your eyes. I like your style. & whenever we talk, whenever we share a passion, whenever I listen to your hyper voice telling me a tale of your own, I feel I can walk on moon. I feel nothing can conquer me, can bring me down when I'm with you. You make the world step away whenever you move one tiny step close. That's not love either. Is it? That's only the ultimate friendship, the bound between us. I can't say "I Love You" in any specific way… in no way in particular. It could be anyone who would happen to have your logical talent & your brilliant mind & passionate enthusiasm, which I declare, is a bit, more than a bit unique. You are one of a kind. Everybody's one of a kind. Everybody's someone. Uhum… you are 'the' someone, still….

You have asked me to accompany you on a trip, where without a gleam of doubt the physical closeness will be exposed to other companions… either that, or you have to be so cold, so cruel that it will break my heart & yours. A trip to nowhere… with you… that sounds frightening. It sounds like a dream suddenly realized. & Dreams should only come true step by step…. No dream is allowed to come to reality without hard work, without pain or it would not be treasured as it should be. You thought me that….

You, sir, have thought me that I should be grateful for the little heartache I have gone true… for a few aching experiences & painful memories… coz no one would reach the juice of perfection without any twinge. The hard you squeeze, the more you are ready to sip the juice. You have thought me to appreciate the effort of others & to respect their right to love me or leave me. It's because of you that now I consider the consequence of every word I say to people. You are the reason for my changes. But are we ready to change into something new? Are we ready to set off to a journey that might change all our lives especially mine? Would it be too much to ask to clarify my hesitations… you are my teacher, my dreamer, my student & my dream all the same. YOU are the only one who have a say in this.

With Love

Proshat

My Trip To West Of Iran

Some Pictures From my Trip...


Share The Thrill... Share the Laughter...


You Would like to visit it

The Holidays & I

So I spent my whole holidays doing nothing but watching load crabs of movies & studying a bit of economy.

Fantastic!

It's amazing though, how my view on world keeps changing & growing in a way more mature than before. I keep seeing things in a new light. I see everything in a web of compiled & compact relations… & I try to figure how to handle everything at once.

I have learned a few things these days which would be nice to share:

* Life is spending the day with a beloved & never thinking of losing them.

* If you don't try to have fun, nobody will actually give you the right to have fun!

* Ask for everything you need, voice your concerns, show your feelings good or bad, if you don't express yourself, no one will notice you.

* If you can't love someone, then let them have your respect. Respect their feelings but do not feel guilty for not being able to love them back. You have the first-hand right to your heart. & an expression of love should be real & true not fake & false.

* If someone can not love you the way you want them to, be grateful that at least they can love you in their own way. & If they don't love you at all, well, Their loss.

So I keep Posting by email!

Horray! This is incredible. It's just that I cant post pictures with this!

It had been very fun day at work…. We had been visiting friends & collogues most of the day since it's the first almost real workday after the holidays. A lot of friends are still not back & over there is a very informal atmosphere here. My Internet account over here is still blocked, so I would not be able to check any blogs! I only get my email account & this is what I do with it!!!!!

Trying New Email Post

Hey...
What's Up?

- You, honey, can’t stop my departure. I am to leave & there’s no stopping me… I need to be Free….
- Aren’t you free here?
- Freedom, honey, is not the right to choose it id the concept of non-choosing that defines freedom… & here, being close to you, I would never be free… I’m always expected to make choices. You, my lord, are my cage. You prison me in this glass & gold prison of your love.
With you, I have the world at my feet, & you have me. Now, it’s time to trade off… you have the world & I have ME!

Conversations Cut from a story

- But you’re in love with me!
- That would not normally mean I would let you rule my life….

It's New Year Here!

It's Persian New Year.


I'm off on a holiday... Will be back!

More Coffeeshop photos

Yeah.. that's my hand! But I'm more of a Coke Drinker!

Nope... This is Chips & Cheese ... One of My favs in Kaze!

I Spilt the whole hot chocklet thanks to Mr. Politics!

I never forget to take out my little notebook... useful to grab ideas & turn them into words.

What We Do in a Coffeshop?

We eat!

Cut From a Story

(Tehran - Nezami Ganjavi)

Outside These fences, Where stupid facts like fame & status are of importance, Your avoidance is logical... yet Juliet, within these walls, Love is the only reality that matters. Here, your heart will defy your mind & your body will take control. Here, Juliet, is the place you give in... because there is no choice of running away!

From Azadeh's blog: Many Women's Rights Activists were Arrested in Tehran!

Read Azadeh's Blog on the news:

Iran-Emrooz,Tehran, Iran, Sunday, March 04, 2007
http://www.iran-emrooz.net/index.php?/news1/12208/
50 of
the women's rights movement activists were arrested in front of the
Revolutionary Court in Tehran.
The security police forces attacked a
peaceful gathering of women's rights activists that had taken place at 8:30 am
in front of the Revolutionary Court in Tehran in objection to the recent
governmental oppressions and the summoning of some of these activists. The
police forces who used violence to scatter the crowd, arrested at least 21 of
the protesters.
According to the report published by Advar News, the list of
the arrested is as follows:
Asieh Amini, Jila Bani Yaghoub, Mahboubeb
Abbasgholizadeh, Mahboubeh Hosseinzadeh, Sara Loghmani, Zara Amjadian, Mariam
Hossein Khah, Jelveh Javaheri, Niloofar Golkar, Parastoo Dokoohaki, Zeinab
Peyghambarzadeh, Maryam Mirza, Saghar Laghayee, Khadijeh Moghaddam, Saghie
Laghayee, Nahid Keshavarz, Mahnaz Mohammadi, Nasrin Afzali, Tal'at Taghinia,
Fakhri Shadfar, Maryam Shadfar, Elnaz Ansari, Fatemeh Govarayee, Azadeh
Forghani, Sommayeh Farid, Minoo Mortezayee, Sara Imanian.
Nooshin Amhadi
Khorasani, Parvin Ardalan, Shahla Entesari and Susan Tahmasebi—five prominent
members of the women's rights movement—who had to attend their court hearing
left the court session in support of their fellow activists. They, too, got
arrested upon their departure from the court.
The police officers hit Nahid
Jafari's head to the police van and as a result of such violent actions, her
teeth broke and the officers are currently refusing to take her to the emergency
room.

Love

I Can Let People Love me...

But I Wont love them back...

The Gate of the castle is closed

& You are not allowed to enter.

No Signs to Go:

I miss read the signs once again;
A heart is broken
& I don’t know where I stand
With your perfume on me
& I have doubts…
& there’s no place I would like to go
& there is no light clearing the path…
I can’t decide on which road to take.
It’s your heart on the line.
& I try to use my mind.
Don’t get me wrong… I have had my heart broken
& by mistake I had crashed someone else’s hearts…
You are too dear that I would let this happen to you.

Modern Women In Iran

Do I consider myself modern?

I guess so... though not in a VERY modern way... I tend to be somewhat classic & traditional when it comes to curtain things... yet I'm modern in more ways than other.

I also like to think that I, the little girl of games, am an intellectual.... I like to talk about Economy, Politics & all the 'deep' stuff around me....

My friends are from the same league also... We have our conversations & our moments... They are not shallow... like some modern Iranian Women who only concern themselves by the latest fashions & trends!!!!

Why am I writing all this? Well, Previous night was our girls night out.... We went to a fancy restaurant & let ourselves be pampered by the service & we talked the whole night... & only in our circle of three we can talk about almost anything... we can start from Salad Dressing & end in World Peace. We discuss almost everything & we share so many things...

It was then it hit me... we were 'REAL' women having a life in Iran. We were 'real'. & we were not dolls or idols... but only a human being safe in knowing each other & safe in our clique...

& we were different at the same time... we were not the little girls anymore... we were 'Women', Grown up & mature on the verge of making big decisions.

& We were real.

Cheers to my clique... Cheers to my ladies.... Here we are the conquerors of the World

A Ticket To The Moon

& I've got a dream to reach...
All I need is... A ticket to the moon

No One Dares To Distrub The Sound of a Silence

http://www.4shared.com/dir/2064632/4a0e1700/Song.html

When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never shared
No one dared Disturb the sound of silence

& That's how it feels here today...
People hanging on to a little hope left...
People who shout in silence.

Are We Going to End Up in a War?

I hear the news of American Plan to attack Iran. & I wonder what will happen to my daily life?
What will happen to my friends, boys & girls who have a whole lot of years of dreams before them? What will happen to laughters & tears? To loves & hatereds? To Joy & Pain?
What will happen to my beloved sister? To my dad & mom? To all the fun days & rough nigts?
What will happen to my baby niece? Will she live enough to see the days of happiness or would her life be filled with disasters & lost memories like mine?
War is unjust & cruel & no matter what the reason, no one is allowed to attack some other beings.
Here... we're talking about Lives being on the line. & if it were for mine, I would never & ever utter a word... for I have lived my life t the fullest, the richest that I could dream... I had love & happiness & I have people to care for who care for me.... Yet, it's not my life walking on the edge... It's my friends' & family's lives.... It's my memories & their future... It's Human beings in danger!
Just arund a corner, Darkness is waiting for us, hovering above, whispering nasty words & lauhing a hard evil laugh... He Awaits in the shadows & keeps his sword ready & sharp... & when the time comes... He will take us... to our doom.
I wont fight... I know. & I wont ever see the pain. I wont fight... but where's my choice but to suffer from someone else's stupidity?