Plane Crashed...

I was not even in Tehran at the time. But it came to us as kind of a shock because it crashed in a residental area near airport. The whole crew & passengers of the plane passed away but the late captain did a very nice job & tried to land the plane with minimum destruction. Yet only those who have a little knowlege of poileting will understand this.
Right now the question is why the plane had taken off in the first place cos there had been soemthing wrong with it before. & the Defence minister has been called to Parliment to answer the questions.

My TOEFL Score Has Arrived!

& I do not believe my eyes! I got 657 out 0f 670 on the paper based test. Although as I reckoned before my TWE (Test of Written English) score is not good & I just received 4 out of 6 which is very low considering the score I expected. Well, that’s not surprising cos the time run out before I could write the conclusion for the writing test. I wish I could use other parts’ time to finish up my writing but alas. If I could, I would have around 15 minutes added to my 30-minutes time for writing & it would have been more than enough for me to complete my test.
I am still shocked for my general score, however. This means that I only had 3 wrong answers in the whole test! Which is absolutely crazy! I really didn’t think I would be able to perform that well on the test due to that fact that I was fasting. Besides, 657 is … I don’t know, it’s like a dream come true.
I’m not usually one to make a fuss about scores. Yet even the most self-obsessed part of me could not imagine this. I would have appreciated 630 but after seeing my friends’ scores, I assumed that mine would be around 600 or less. So either I have gotten lucky or the test score is wrong!
The funny point is that this particular score will do nothing for me. English knowledge is not appreciated very much at my company, not in my section anyway. & there would be no way I can use this score as long as I am in Iran.
That’s why I have seriously started to think about studying abroad. I don’t know where I can find a good university with low costs. & honestly, right now I feel it’s really unfair that my friend who has a lot of trouble making a sentence in English has the opportunity to study abroad cos she has become an immigrant due to her father’s status. I know I should not write this & I definitely understand that I should not envy her for the things she has. That’s not the way friends should feel about each other. But right now, I don’t feel like practicing the morals I have been brought up on.
I wish I could find something that she, herself had achieved without the help of her parents, so that I could relate her privileges to them. Life is not fair. & I have to shut up before I give in to this bottled-up-silently-screaming anger that I feel right now.
Adios.

Loneliness

And the emptiness is lethal. & the more I isolate myself, the more I feel hallow. & the more I try, the less I find a way out….
So everyday I just put off waking up to avoid facing arid days & I linger in my bed while my thoughts fly away to the nothingness land.
The ridiculous point is even in my dreams I am not content. I run away to fantasy yet even there, there is no comfort. So I just lie there in my bed & try hard to concentrate on an empty void…. Since it really doesn’t matter what I’m pondering about, the result is the same: I end up in emptiness & emptiness is lethal.

These is of our Garden's Pix

Dreams

I’ve been writing down my dreams ever since I can remember & it had led to me writing some pieces. Some time ago, I was searching through my notes & I found some of my old ones, one is based on a dream I had.
I wonder if it is right that our unconscious mind shows it’s creativity while we’re asleep. I mean right before I fall asleep all these ideas float into my mind & if only I could catch one of them, I would be able to write a masterpiece.
I gather some dreams are the ‘to-be-continued-s’ of my pre-sleep story-weavings. It is like I see the first episode when I’m still half-awake & in my slumber I make out the outline of the fantasy & then I dream it.
Do we have command on what we dream? I read Freud’s book of dreams recently. & he didn’t seem to think that human can control what they see in dreams. Well, he thinks that ‘we’ partially make dreams during the day. Yet he defines it as an uninhibited process. My question is if anybody else has ever controlled his or her dreams.

I Promise to write in a week time....

Life just had been hectic around here! Although the fasting month meant I should have more time... alas for my *how-can-I-put-it-politely-that-he-is-a-pain-in-the-neck?* had to assign me to some unrelevent subjects so....
Forget it! I have to run now... be back soon!

There is an issue on my mind…

Iran is one those countries where anything related to se* is taboo. I mean even talking about marital problems related to it is somewhat rude & is considered offending to some.
This attitude is changing among younger generation though. Most of my friends are comfortable about discussing se*ual relationships & are very open-minded toward the whole thing in comparison to others. Being in a relationship with someone & love-making out of the wedlock (which used to be a HUGE shame) is becoming more & more practiced & most of young generation accept that as part of a relationship.
I’m not saying that the idea & the whole situation is right or wrong. Here I’m just trying to draw a picture of how step by step we’re walking toward this kind of freedom to live our own lives regardless of what others think. Good or bad this has been the trend for sometime & although most parents are somehow against it, it seems to be fashionable to be in a se*ual relationship.
I myself don’t have any issue with people who consummate out wedlock. Basically it’s their right to do whatever they want to do & it’s none of anyone’s business. While I’m not comfortable to practice it myself, I do hate it when people try to force others to go their way & stay in some kind of a mind frame whether it is for or against se*uality.
This is not the issue I want to discuss right now, because heterosexual relationship is on its way of acceptance. It is homosexual relations which need to be discussed. What I don’t understand is why the people who understand the relationship between male & female & are bragging about being humanist & believing in the extreme freedom of human rights, have such big issues with homosexuality.
I know that it’s not the natural way of having a relationship to say the least. But who are we to oppose the nature of someone & tell them what to do?
Looking at it from religious point of view, both consummating out of wedlock & homosexuality are referred to as sins. So if anyone wants to stick to the orders of religion then they must not practice either of them. Boasting about one’s ability in one area & bashing the other doesn’t seem right.
Furthermore, homosexuality is not a disease which needs quarantine. I mean homosexuals should not be abandoned or be treated as some kind of a trash or germ. They just go after something which is not practiced by others. They have a right over their body & they have the right to use it the way they want to.
I know that even in modern countries homosexuality is still regarded ‘unnatural’ & I don’t think in very long time it will be considered ‘normal’ in my country. Still I feel the need to state my opinion & stand up for their right. While I have to admit it is weird for me to have gay friends, I don’t necessarily find it disgusting. They are humans like us, they only behave differently.

What’s going on in my life?

A lot actually! First of all there had been big changes around the country & our new president is introducing his cabinet. Everybody in the office is concerned about who will be the next OIL Minister (since I’m working in a governmental company supervised by Oil ministry). Honestly I didn’t have the chance to watch all the debates going on in parliament regarding the qualifications of ministry candidates, which is a shame. I only get to watch the summery in the news & it’s not enough for me! Therefore I don’t know whether these people are good or not.
Now that it’s mentioned, the fact that most of the candidates are new to the territory of public politics is not much of help either. Pr. Ahmadinejad has vowed to change the whole ‘big names get the job’ situation of the government & he seems to stick to his vows.
As much as Sticking to the vows is a plus to his presidency, I still have some issues with the way he dresses. After pr. Khatami with his elegant manners, it’s kind of hard for me to look at the new president & don’t think of buying him a comb & some razors!
The other big matter around here is cholera. It seems that we have been attacked by quickly-spreading microbe & it makes my professional life a living hell since I have to control every article of raw material coming to the company. I had to announce that we are in the red 4 weeks ago & all kinds of fruit & fresh vegetables are removed from our serving line. I have to admit that it is easier said than done when it comes to practicing ‘high’ hygiene procedures. Most of the time, I have to argue with chefs & cooks to obey the strict hygiene rules & it’s really unnerving to see them take it lightly.
Next big thing going on is that we’re renovating our house. Although we’ve planning for sometime now, it is still very hard for us to manage & complete everything before fall. I don’t want anyone touching my stuff & it makes it even harder for me to get through everything.
MS entrance exam results would be out in about a week & it’s pushing my patience to the edge. It’s not like I’m expecting to get admitted, still…. In my humble opinion, I’ve done a practically good job, being in the one third who got the green lights for the interviews. Yet something inside me is hopeful for the fighting chance I might have been admitted. Let’s I like to dream about it!
Now… I missed writing for my blog. I missed the whole concept of being able to voice your opinion without having to worry about what others think (not that I cared A LOT about what others thought!). & I missed everyone here.

Are Moslems terrorists?

We had been discussing the issue lately with some of my Christian friends. & it absolutely amazed me how wrong the world interpret some basic rules of Islam. & self-acclaimed Moslems do help that idea! They threaten & terrorize the mass who had nothing to harm them.
Islam basically says if anyone attacked you, you must fight against them, either that or if you’re threatened. There is no such rule as to attack street done to Islam? innocent people! What harm had people in the
The point is that most of these self-acclaimed Moslems firmly believe that west government had done a lot of harm trying to isolate Moslems. Yet I don’t see why they punish innocent civilians instead of the powerful government ruling their lives!
Where is the mercy Islam order for us to practice? Islam says love your neighbors! & we believe in all the prophets who had been before Muhammad & we believe in all the religions before Islam.Why would we want to hurt others? We’re not terrorists! Believe me… it’s the hardliners who never understand Islam. I’m sorry for all the hurt they brought the world.

London & the bombs:

We were shocked. We really were shocked to say the least. When my cousin told me about the bombs in London, I thought he was making fun of me. I thought he was joking! Then we turned on the radio & it was on everywhere.
I feel sorry not only for people who suffered in the attack but also for people who planed it. Why in the name of God some people commit such huge crimes? Killing innocent people won’t get anyone anywhere. Terror is nit the answer!
The first thing my cousin said after hearing the news was “we’re going to get attacked”. & that’s how some others think too. I have no idea how the bombing would be related to Iran but if President Bush is waiting for a reason to continue the war against terrorism, this would be a good one to attack my country.
Well, I’m not going to think about unreasonable nightmares we might be facing in near future. My career is on the rocks & I’m starting French lessons so I supposedly don’t have the time to worry!!!!!
Moreover, before I sign off this post, El if you’re reading this post anywhere on the earth, give me a call or leave a message or something. I’m dead worried about you & Alex. I tried to call your cell phone but it was off! I hope you would not be hurt in the bombs! I’ll call New Castle tonight, hopefully you’ll be back home by then!

See the pic?

Leila...

is a nice movie. Did u know that the actor & the actoress got married after the movie?
Ali Mosafa (actor) is the grandchild of an Iranian poetess & both his parents are university lecturers. Leila Hatami (actoress) is the only daughter of our great movie maker Ali Hatami. The movie is rather old & the first I watched it, I cried my eyes out!

I'm still alive!

Well, Don’t Go Making Promises You Cannot Keep!
That’s all I have to say about the whole situation right now in Iran!
Tomorrow will be a day to make better or worse!
& oh yeah... the bomb didnt hurt me although I had been around where it exploded earlier which caused a major heart attack for my mom!

Presidential Election:

Well, honestly you didn’t think I would forget something as big as this, did you? It had been about a year that we have been getting ready for this election. Since Parliament elections last year & the change toward Islamic hard-liners, we’ve been expecting this election to be a huge step backward in our politico-sphere.
During president Khatami’s era, social participation in political affairs had been reducing day by day. That could be due to disappointment the nation feel…. “There never would be a change anyway,” one of my friends told me, who had been in President Khatami’s campaign for his first election with me. “Khatami’s a great person but he is no rebellion.” He continued. & this is how most of reformist’s fans think about the situation in Iran.
Most people I know gave up voting a long time ago, which led to hard-liners victory in parliament elections. They say no to the system by not voting & participating in political matters. I’m not saying I would vote or not, but I don’t know if Boycotting the election would solve anything. On the other hand, participating won’t change the basics either. Another friend says: “Boycotting will only let you blame others for a decision even they themselves didn’t make”. He is right in a way… the boycott only omit the responsibility.
Mr. Hashemi (Iran’s ex-president) is participating in election & he seems to have the greatest possibility to win by the polls taken by governmental system. However these official (& since distrust-able) polls show that more than 50% are not participating in the election. This number is very vague yet everybody is expecting him to win.
His most powerful rival Dr. Moeen had been Education Minister during the infamous military attack to the University of Tehran. He is a very knowledgeable gentleman & seems to be a man of high caliber but unfortunately, he is not a decision maker like his fellow politician Pr. Khatami. This factor makes most hesitant reformist fans doubt his ability “I don’t want another Hashemi era for sure” declares a friend “but I don’t want a Khatami era either”. With this trend of boycotting the election by reformists, I personally doubt he can pull off in the election.
Mr. Ghalibaf is…. What can I say about him? He is a Military man, a pilot & has a Ph.D. (!) (Although he doesn’t have the Masc.)…. Ironically, he was in charge of Tehran Military force during the attack to university. Well, he has a very important privilege! He looks good. He is one the most handsome middle-aged men I’ve ever met. & he is elegant. Yet hmmm… a handsome military president is creepy….
Mr. Larizani, ex-head of Governmental Media, is another candid. He is a true politician, an Iranian Churchill. He seems to be a good manager too but he belongs to hardliners & well, most hard-liner fans will vote for Mr. Hashemi, so there is almost no chance for him to win.
Mr. MehrAlizade is the ex-head of Sports Organization & the recent Iran’s National Football team victory is a very good propaganda for him. He has proved that he is a very good manager but I doubt anyone even give him a fighting chance since he is in reformists campaign & reformists are trying to back up Moeen to defeat Hashemi.
The last but not the least is Mr. Ahmadinejhad, the Mayer of Tehran. Honestly, I don’t know much about him. He had been a university lecturer & he seems to do fine for the year he’d been the Mayer. There is only one point about him, which might be a major problem. He is well to put it bluntly, ugly. It’s not that physical beauty is that important, I know better to be this much superficial yet; the matter is he can improve his looks a lot by just combing his hair & dressing more elegantly. My cousin decided to leave the country if he wins the election. “People will think Iran is a big zoo,” he says, “if our president looks like a monkey”

FOOTBALL

Yes baby! We won! Iran is the first country to join the world-cup 2006 in Germany! They did it!
Last night was a very exciting night for Iranians all over the world. We tend to be in-love with soccer & Iran is called Asian Brazil for having so much football fans. Last night Iran national team played against Bahrain in AZADI Stadium, Tehran. We only needed 1 score out of six scores possible from two remaining matches. & Iran defeated Bahrain 1-0 & scored three scores & yeah we’re on our way to Germany!
ZENDE BAD Iran! That is ‘long live Iran’ in Persian. I’m so proud of my country. Going to world cup may be nothing for some teams but for Iran, it is a huge step. I pray for my national team success in the world cup.

Where on earth I have been?!!!!!!

Nowhere special actually! I had been where I have always been, doing what I always did. However, there had been one BIG change! My computer needed a heart surgery! Therefore, I had to back up ALL my files & programs & then we format the hard & re-partitioned it. & right after we were done, I went & plugged my modem into the electricity outlet! & that’s how my poor PC almost died! We had to take him to CCU for intense care & finally he got back today. He is still weak & sometimes passes out while working but we’re coping ;) .
So this is how I disappeared for more than a month. I’m back though & hopefully I will be able to update more. I’m about to get an internet account over at my job but I’m not sure I would be able to update the blog from work.
My boss had been the pain in the neck (sorry) & he gave my account password to Apple-of-his-eyes (who is one of the employees) & wanted to make me share the net with him. Now I usually don’t get annoyed & I don’t care about small things. Yet internet usage (especially in Iran with all these filtered sites & such) is a very private matter & is not something I would like to share. What if the other one feels like checking the taboo sites (like political sites) under my name & get me into trouble for something I haven’t done? I’m not saying that he would do that, but I know for sure that he is chatting on Yahoo & it’s against the contract. Therefore, I asked MR. Moody Boss to give that account totally to him, insisting that I can connect to internet from home. Unfortunately, Apple-of-boss’s-eyes is not permitted to use Internet yet so my boss kindly (!) asked me to let him use mine although I had changed the account type & such. However, when I told Mr. Apple-of-boss’s-eyes he got upset (!) & he is not talking to me since!
Anyway, I am back & there are many issues to talk about presidential debates & campaigns, Election Day, & FOOTBALL!

I'm Checking my Hello acount!

Zoroastrian

Thanks to my dear Green Mind for correcting me. Truth is I had forgotten Zardosht's name in English (Zoroaster) while I was writing the post about it. & I was too lazy to look it up so I just went with the Persian pronunciation & jot it down the way we call him here.
Another point is that Zardosht is an Iranian messenger & Zardoshti (Zoroastrianism) is an Iranian religion. Therefore the correct forms of pronouncing his name would the Persian form, come to think of it. I mean that is what the original name is so why change it?
I remember once in my Food Chemistry course my professor kept using the French pronunciation of 'Millard'. (He is a great food scientist & a very important reaction is named after him.) One of my fellow students asked why he didn’t use the English pronunciation. "Do you like your name to be pronounced in English? He is French & so his name is French" Professor answered. I believe it's very true; this is what called Persian dignity.
On the other hand, Green Mind had a good point in the comment: so many people would not have heard the Persian name of Zardosht (which in many cases is a shame), while they would have recognized the English word of Zoroaster. Hence that would be inconsiderate to use the Persian words without introducing the English equivalents (that is if they exist).
Anyhow, I was just playing devil's advocate here. I didn’t mean to get philosophical over a simple issue of using a word. :)
Talking about the days back in school reminded me to announce something: I passed the first level of Masc. entrance exam in MBA major! I just don’t believe it! I had not studied a bit for it! & as you know that's not my Bs major! I don’t know how I did it but I did! Now I have to take part in some bloody interviews & some written tests for different universities. I don’t know my rank in the entrance exam yet & that would not be very good I guess which means I have to show off a bit in the interviews.
I'll have another test next week for my own major at my own university. & that would be a double time test: Friday morning would be the basic course tests which include Food Chemistry, Food Microbiology, math & English Comprehension. & in the afternoon Food Technologies (e.g. Dairy, Cereals, Oils, and Preservations &...) & Food Engineering would be the main courses on the test.
Yet I have to wait till September for the interviews to begin. It's kinda good since I'll have time to work more on my skills. To be honest, I have my eyes set on one particular school (Industrial Management Institute) where Masc. courses are offered in English. This makes it a rather hard place to get admitted to for most people. But I shall think about the upcoming exam instead of the interviews.
Quick update on the Gang!
Well, it's been long since last I wrote about my crew. Honestly with our busy everyday life schedule, we don’t get to hang out as much as we used to. Well, we used to practically live together to think of it! Now it's time to put some quick updates here since we had gone out a lot during last weeks.
Pat had been the usual concrete angel he was. He tried to cheer everyone up but kept his face straight all the time. It takes a lot for him to remove his stone mask & let us see his emotional side. Though I had a chance to see the face behind few times, but I wish I wouldn't, not that he is not nice or something but due to the eerie situation we were in. he is by far the most affected one regarding the Mr. President's departure. They had always been extremely close & he tries to cope with his absence with planning gatherings for the crew.
Mat had been the good-looking stubborn head he was. He looked especially cool during our last get-together for Miss Poetess birthday. He is keeping his distance though. & he laughs less than he used to which makes us all miss his infamous laughter. He had been a pain in the neck for sometime but he is trying to get better. Personally he had me worried all through last year & I believe he needs to learn a few lessons or two. But he is still very much loved, much more appreciated & we need him to be around. (Mat if by any chance you read this: Stop holding the grudge over her... it's not worth it)
Miss Poetess is studying in Master Course right now & well, we don’t really hang out the way we used to. She had changed a lot. & I have changed a lot. We are still close if we get time to see each other. Our friendship is strong enough to survive our lack of time or least that's what I like to think. She has to do a few things though. She has to talk to Ava & get over whatever had happened with Teddy & them. Speaking of Teddy, he left the crew a while back & didn’t even bother to give us explanations. Heck, I think he is prohibiting himself from a chance of having an everlasting friendship. His loss!
Mr. President left for Toronto two weeks ago. We keep in touch with him & his parents. Yet... hanging out without his annoying mischief is not the same anymore. Who would drink my coke & eat my fries? & who would ask me to read his coffee cup? I miss him somehow. I hope he is well & coping with new environment. He is the sore point of the crew right now. His name kinda keeps repeating & his absence is so obvious you won't miss the feeling that something is not there without him.
Lolly Pop has turned into a totally new person from the shy quite lad he was back at school. He can actually flirt! & not get as red as rout beet when he is talking to a girl other than us!!! Hmmm I have to admit that he had always been ignored in the group but well.... He is getting noticed more & more every time we hang out. What can I say? Why didn’t he get discovered sooner? Alright right now he needs a trim. He is kinda growing his hair longer for the new cut & is in the transient (that's the exact word he used!) stage!!!!!
Mamoosh seems to be the cool girl she was. She's always been there for us & she keeps giving her support to anyone who needs it. Go Girl!
Ava, the last but the most important, has been kinda down recently. It had been due to Mr. President Departure & the exam pressure. Her job is in the rocks too & she is just tired. I wish she could take a break from everything & leave for a short trip to somewhere. & when I say a break I don’t mean just a break from work or study, I'm thinking about a break from EVERYTHING! She needs to lay back a bit and relax! You hear me Girl? RELAX!

To the End:

"Ta Enteha" (To the End) is the name of a Live TV program in Iran News Channel aka irnn, which surprisingly happen to be a worthy show to watch. The basic objective of the program is to discus the main economical, social or whatever else concerns of the whole society. It somehow reminds me of "Hard Talk" but there are experts as well as normal people commenting on the live show. Yet the presenter never fails to give the person sitting on the hot seat a really hard time & that's what I like most about the show. No one's safe sitting on the hard seat of "to the End"!
Mr. Heydari, the presenter of the show, knows how to talk about the issues discussed on the show. It seems that he always studies about the subjects of discussions & have at least a good command over the unclear issues. He insists on clear & straight answers so it's rather (well, more than rather) difficult for the guest to get away with the issue.
What makes the show worth-watching is the fact that it, unlike most other shows on TV, doesn’t follow the political & therefore unfair & biased trend toward the issues. If there would be something wrong, then there is no way it would change it to RIGHT & if at any rare chance the issue discussed would be based on a wrong assumption, Mr. Heydari is courageous enough to declare & accept the truth.
It might not be the most perfect or rebellious program I've ever watched, but nonetheless it is a great step toward respecting viewers common sense & judgment. It tends to stay away from touchy issues like politics (especially now while we're getting ready for Iran's presidential election) & facts concerning the leader of Iran or other big names. Yet, in all honesty, I must admit that never once it let me down on the subjects. If an issue is discussed, then there would be no presumption or prejudgment about it. There is no way the show would reach to the end in a traditional trend where you can guess the results & don’t have to watch it.
Tonight for example it was about Iran buying the Rover Company in Britain which has declared bankruptcy earlier this year. It had been the main subject of the show for the past few days & the discussion is still open. Mr. Heydari's last question of the night was "Is this a political move? & what is the role of Iran's ambassador in London in it?" The guest (head-manager of Iranian company offering the bid) tried to avoid the first question by answering the latter & getting away with it but he asked again: "Is it or is it not?" & the guest didn’t have a choice but to say "Well, it had not been a political issue when it had been brought up, but in the present situation it can be used as one..." & the Mr. Heydari forbid the show saying: "This was to the End, wait for the political aspect of it to be discussed"
Alright, I wanted to write about this program a long time ago & I don’t know why I put it off this long. I'm not one of those couch potatoes who watch TV regularly. There are only a few programs I do watch like "All Saints" & the 7 pm news. TV programs rarely attract my attention; they're either lame, poor-planned dramas or biased news. Most TV series shown here shows violence more than what I can tolerate. Se* on the other hand is banned so I don’t have to worry about that (Although if I had to choose, I would tolerate se* more than violence). Now I have to write a post about TV & other Medias. But that have to wait for another time.
Ps: a little personal post: C, you really have to take less offence about everything. There are a lot of people who don’t understand Spanish & a lot more who don’t understand Farsi! It doesn’t mean that we can't communicate with them. There's always sign language for those who don’t know English ;) write a post about it.
Pss: Dear Grandpa, thanks for the very nice comment you left for my last post. I'm definitely honored. & I have written some very short texts in English (beside from the very stupid story you read) which I might post here. It's just that I'm rather unconfident due to the issue. But I'll try to post some of them.
Now that I'm actually leaving personal comments here, I must leave a message for my dear Lynne (the last but definitely not the least). Thank you so much for all your comments. You & grandpa Doral are the main reasons I keep writing stuff here. & if I don’t leave comments on your posts it's because my stupid ISP is playing a bit with T-blog. I can't open the site most of the time. It's due to internet ban here & sometimes I can open your blog but not the main site & so on.... I tried to get the windows send your posts to my email. (This works for some Iranian blogs) but it had been rather hard work with T-blog. I have no idea why there had been a ban on T-blog; some other blog providers & Net-space providers are on the ban too like geocities. Blogspot was banned too but we tried & released it. So please don’t think that I don’t read your blog! Every time I do get to open your blog I check the Archives for what I've missed. May everything be fine with you.

Have you ever been felt so out of place you didnt know what to do?
I did! Today I just learened that I dont fit in the area I'm working in. It is suffocating me! My boss is very moody & he seems not to be able to make a decision at ALL! He needs to hurry up & do something about the sanitary issue in the proccess room but he keeps ignoring my reports.
Today he told me: "we've been doing fine for the past year so why rush to change?" & this rush means 3 MONTHS of reporting & disscussing a major problem!
Lord Save me please!

Zardoshti

Who was Zardosht? We believe that he was one of the messengers from God. He was an Iranian prophet & he has a holy book Avesta & some other related writings like Yasnas.
There are three basic rules in the Zardoshti religion: Good Words; Good Thoughts & Good Behavior.
Zardoshtis believe that there is Ahoora Mazda (as God) & Ahriman (as devil). Fire is holy in this religion like the earth, the water & other natural elements. Zardoshtis are free to practice their religion in Iran.
I'm still trying to contact the friend I mentioned & to find more information about the actual religion. It is hard for me to define what is basically Zardoshtism & what is Iranian old belief as they are totally combined together. I mean to be honest Norooz or Tirgan or a lot more practices like yalda are ancient Iranian traditions that are practiced by all Iranians no matter what religion they have. So as an inexperienced little girl, I don’t have the right to judge about the whole issue.
What in actual fact makes it harder for me to differentiate between the tow is the point that my family practice some of these traditions that others don’t. Tirgan, Mehrgan or Froodin are rarely celebrated among other Muslim families while we do participate in them. Still that could be the pan-Iranism hard core in us!
Enough of me talking nonsense about one of the oldest religions in the world, Zardosht goes back to even before Moses. There are few BIG changes happening around me lately. First of all, my cousin is getting married to her boyfriend of 5 years. This leaves me the oldest single kid in the family. & it had been kind of a shock for me. It seems that everyone is growing up so fast here that I can't put up with them. Still it was not as shocking as my other cousin marriage & then becoming a father. I can remember clearly when he told me that his wife was pregnant, his eyes were glowing & he had a broad smile on his face. I just blinked at him & said "Have you gone mad? You shall not kid me like this! She can't be pregnant!" & then totally freaked out!
Secondly, Mr. President (my friend from the crew) is leaving Iran forever next week. We met up to say goodbye last night & it was very hard, harder than I imagined. When I wanted to leave, we hugged & I had to run away not to let him see my tears. He will be missed greatly. I hope wherever he is & with whomever he befriends, he would remember us cos we definitely going to remember him for the rest of our lives.
I guess I have to learn to say goodbye to my other friends too. Most of the crew is working on leaving Iran in future. That is sad but we all have to admit that it is inevitable to grow apart & to leave the bond we share behind. Someday we will be together again & till then....My job is still a pain in the neck. I really need more space & a clear work chart! No! I'm not gonna talk about it cos it only make me sadder than what I already am!

Zardosht

Well, I definitely like to write more on this subject. Most of Iranian like the old religion of Zardosht & we still celebrate some of the holidays as national holiday.
A family friend of mine is Zardoshti & I will have her word to put here.
Just bear with me please. I STILL don't have the net access at work & it's killing me. I do my best to put a post before the end of the Weeks.
PS: Dear sydaus I read your blog & honestly I have learned not to get offended about the whole Islam issue. Although I genuinely believe that the religion most people consider Islam has nothing to do with the real points of the religion. Never once anyone tried to show the gentle points in Islam. Anyhow, over here I'm just an Iranian defending my Nationality of sorts, trying to reveal the real person behind the biased media image. So nope I didn't get offended.

Nutrition 101...

Alright at last I got enough time to write this down. And I decided that it would be best to publish it in my blog too (Criss I hope you don’t mind). This is a very simple method to calculate your body needs & rearrange the amount of food you're consuming. Just take in mind that this is only about the energy you gain from the food not the vital nutrients you are supposed to get. That shall be discussed in another topic. (I don’t promise but if I would find the nutrition charts on line, I'd post them here. Mine are in Persian & it's no use to post them.)
To start our nutrition 101, we must learn a few expressions:
* Cal: in nutrition Science energy is measured by Cal (with capital C) which indicate Kilo Calories. So if I would write 9 Cal, then it means 9 kilo calorie. (Note: each Cal is 4.8 joules)
* REE: Resting Energy Expenditure: this is the minimum required energy for natural body reactions without any kind of physical action involved (like when you're sleeping).
Ladies generally need 0.9 to 0.95 Cal per hour for each Kg of body weight to survive. It means if you're 50 kg lady then you need: 50*0.9*24= 1080 Cal per day just to live on.
As for gentlemen the figure is 1 Cal per hour for each Kg of body weight. For example a 50 Kg man needs: 50*1*24= 1200 Cal per day.
The first step to start a diet is to calculate your REE. & no matter what, you shall not take a diet with less energy than REE (that is called straining diet)
REE is affected by some factors like fever, pregnancy, Lactation, growth age, stress, emotional experiences &.... in these cases REE might be raised up to 13%.
* Required Energy for Physical Activity (PA Coefficient):
Now comes the important part, how much Cal do you need to really get by per day? There are Coefficients which would determine your body need:
- sitting without Strenuous physical activity: 1.4-1.5
- sitting with Strenuous physical activity: 1.5-1.6
- standing: 1.8-1.9
- intense physical activity: 2.0-2.4
- Sportive physical activities 2 or 3 times per week for at least 30-60 minutes will add 0.3 to each figure.
If you multiple these coefficients (depending on your situation) by your REE, you'll get your required energy expenditure.
For instance suppose a 50 kg salesman who is standing most of the time:
REE: 50*1*24= 1200 Cal/day; 1200*1.8= 2160 Cal/day
This means he at least needs 2160 Cal per day to be able to do his job.
* TEF (Thermal Effect of Food): this is the heat released by your body after you consume food. TEF is usually around 10% of required Energy Expenditure.
So in the above example, it will be 2160* 10%= 216 Cal/day

Now we get to calculate the real Energy Requirement of your body: you shall add TEF to the Required EE. (2160+216= 2376 Cal/day in the example)
Therefore there is this simple equivalent for your body energy need: (REE*P.A) + TEF
Obviously, if you consume more Cal than the figure, you'll get fat & the less you consume, the thinner you become.
If you want to lose weight healthily, your diet should contain 10 to 15% (on top) less Cal than the figure you calculated above. Remember that a diet with less than REE Cal can damage both your health & sanity.
When you're done calculating, then it's time to manage your diet. You shall consume 40% of your Cal during lunch time. It is said that you can have 25% at breakfast & 10 to 15% at dinner time & divide the rest into 2 or 3 meals along the day.
You're supposed to receive 60-65% of your Cal through Carbohydrates (like sugar, Starch, Rice, Potato, Bread & Fibers), 20-25% through fats & 10-15% through proteins.
I hope this very basic information about Nutrition would help to somehow managing the diet & food consuming habits. Remember that this is just about the Cal you get. In a healthy diet there are other factors involved like the need for vital micronutrients, maximum & minimum level of consuming the three basic nutrients (Carbohydrates, fats & proteins), your health state & a lot more.
Please, please do not follow a diet before consulting your family doctor &/or a nutritionist. For an optimum diet you shall take into account different aspects. Even if a diet had worked fine for someone else it does not mean it's good for you too.
Yeah & remember to EXERCISE. That is the Magical Charm to lose weight.
Well, if I should be of any assist, Proshat@gmail.com is where you can leave me a message.

There are a lot of things in my mind; I don’t know which one to pick.

First of all there is Norooz & the New Year & all the traditions related to it. this year however, I don’t feel the mood for the spring & New Year. It is sort of weird cos the weather is like heaven & the sky is clear, the birds singing & you know the usual stuff... still it fails to reach my heart somehow. I gathered it would due to the new job & the whole unstable, still adjusting I'm in.
On the other hand, my mind keeps bothering me about the whole nuclear power thing going on in Iran. I'm frightened & unsure of what lays ahead for my country. We really don’t need another war. Honestly, I doubt US would attack Iran due to the new tone in the public speeches of US politicians. Yet if the government would clutch to unreasonable discussions, then another ban on Iran would be underway. & heaven knows it's the last thing this country needs.
Apart from general worries, there are some quite personal issues running around in my life too. it is kind of related to the gang & the way we all changed. Now I'm hearing some sort of disappointing news about the whole group & I wonder where we went wrong. I wonder what happened to the innocent friendships & trust between us. I still have my friends but the gang is shattered to pieces. We would hang out but it's not the same. There are hurts & disappointments, unspoken frustration which is building itself up & it seems to be undefeatable. We all need time to get used to the changes. I hate the fact that an unpredictable misery made us drift apart instead of bringing us close & unite us. Enough said about that.
There are bright sides in life too. I met P- the pampering wife today. (he was a friend in my CLC class) & she is such a sweet girl. We seemed to bond quickly & that was cool. I hope she liked me too. & I hope to see my other friend's fiancée too. (The one who had a crush on me!) & that would the more important one cos I want to leave a good impression to save our friendship. Let's pray it goes smoothly.
Well, now I get to go & sleep... tomorrow would be another day at work... correction another hard day at work!

What had happened to me?

I'm still alive... well, at least I can say that I'm breathing & everything is fine. The weather had been pretty cold here. Tehran had not had the amount of snow it snowed in 50 years or so. & in some parts of the country the electricity were shut off due to the heavy snow & cold weather. & in one particular area in the south coast of Caspian the capital of Gilan province, Rasht, was isolated & the unexpected natural disaster comity had to take charge of the city.
However, right now the weather is pretty nice. It is sunny & a cool breeze is blowing. The air pollution is under control & you can actually behold the great Damavand from the city center. I wish I had a digital camera & I could post some pictures from Tehran these days.
It's going to be New Year here in less than a month & this means everyone is out there buying & getting ready for the New Year & spring.
Among all the rush in the streets & the strollers who pass by chatting & window shopping, I feel like a complete freak. The New Year rush had not hit me yet. It might be because of the fact that the new job is kinda separating me from the usual stuff. Typically I should have started my spring cleaning up by now; but alas, spring cleaning is becoming more of a burden than the joyous job it once was. I'm at work from 8 to 4 & most of my evenings are spent out either I have classes or there is a gathering somewhere I had to attend or simply my friends want to hang out. So it's almost 8 pm when I get home.
This very last weekend the Masc. entrance exam was held. I participated in two different majors: Food Engineering & MBA. This means I had exams on Thursday & Friday. It was kinda straining, cos I didn’t get enough sleep & it sure affects my job.
Now I shall stop whining & get some sleep. It would be another full time, hectic day tomorrow but I promised myself to write more (if only I get the time & energy to turn on my pc!)

Voting:

As we get closer to the date of enrolling for presidential candidates, the debates on who is going to win the election heats up. The interesting fact is that the number of famous & might-be-next candidates is more than it usually is.
Neither right winders nor reformists had agreed on a single main candidate yet. & the so-called supportive parties have chosen different candidates with diverse qualities & points of view.
During the last election, right wing hard liners won the parliament & ever since then government had faced so many problems due to the fact that parliament doesn’t see eye to eye with them. Few of our ministers including the transportation minister had been interpellated, while it's only 6 months to the termination of the Khatami's cabinet.
Most people I know did not vote in the last election. This is a way to show objection to the whole régime. Forbearing the validity of the governing system & the whole I-agree-I-agree-not issue, not participating in the political events has another reason to. "What you choose that had been chosen for you before" this sentence can be used to describe all the elections over here.
The parliament of elites (!) has to confirm legitimacy of the candidates & the elites tend to filter anyone who doesn't appeal to them either with or without a real reason. It is a trend to find your desired candidate forced to run off the election due to vague reasons like not being sincere in Islamic rituals. Thus you will have limited chosen candidates to run for the election.
On the other hand, nobody really pays attention to the Parliament of Elites election. In my personal opinion, the Elite Council election is where we can choose the rest of the government heads. Although that one is validated by Observing Council & is no better than the others, yet we could make small changes if we needed it.
Back to upcoming presidential election, if Shirin Ebadi the noble-prize winner runs for the election AND she gets validated, I'll vote for her, though the chance is very low.

A New Job:

Wow I hadn't been online for so long! & I missed being on line & browsing the net. I have to find a way to manage more time on line.
Um... yeah, finally I got a new job & it is much related to my field of study. Recently I had been working with a team on some factory plans but I quit the job & now I'm working as a food-inspector in a huge governmental company. It's pretty hard & I have to work in a time frame of 8am-4pm which is not my cup of tea. I always preferred jobs with flexible time tables. Yet it's a quite good job & the facilities are good.
It can get rather stressful cos a thousand lives will depend on my accuracy. Healthy food & food safety can get very crucial concerning health issues. The job requires more on site supervisions along with the paper works. I hope I can get through the first month of training-examining, and then I shall become an official employee.
The worst point of the job is that I don’t any internet access from work. & usually I get home so tired that I can not go online. Even if I had the access to internet, it would not be easy to check my favorite websites or blogs. Although private net usage is allowed to some extent in governmental companies, the number of sites one can check is restricted due to the fact that no one is sure which sites are illegal & which are not. For example, I would like to check JC Source (I have been a JC fan for quite some time) but it would probably cause problems for me.
Unfortunately, most of the time people's private passions & ideas are questioned here & they are judged base on personal preferences.
At the same time, people contacting with foreigners (except for business contacts) are thought to be untrusting & not reliable in governmental environments. I don’t know but the general mood is like that especially when you are working close to the head of the company. (My situation is like that right now, beside the position is newly added to the organization chart & actually I am the first to do the job so...)
Anyhow... I don’t know how long I can survive but hopefully things will get better by time. May God help me through this one.

Nostalgic

A few moments ago I had a talk with one of my old friends. He is a friend from college days & used to hang out with the gang whenever he was around. He just called me up out of the blue & we talked a good half an hour.
This suddenly made me really nostalgic. I miss the school days... I miss my friends. Why couldn’t be forever? We grew up & drifted apart, going on different ways. Sometimes our roads cross & I always wondered if we could maintain our friendship; whether the intimacy would survive....
Tonight I learned that friendship never dies; it never subsides.... the friend mentioned & I had not been talking for over a year, still the conversation wasn’t formal or cold. It was like the old days that we used to talk about nothing forever. So yes; I believe true friendship survives....
Ps: Mat I wish you could read this... I wish you would read my Persian blog... I miss you a lot. We need your friendship.... I wish you would be back to yourself... don’t let your emotions for someone else come between us. If you want to avoid her, that's fine but don’t ditch us... you mean a lot to us.

It's Freezing here......

It's snowing heavily here & the weather is really nice!
I LOVE SNOW!

Are Iranians racist? (Please note that this post is not based on my personal opinion & hence means no offence by any means to anyone. Please take that

(Please note that this post is not based on my personal opinion & hence means no offence by any means to anyone. Please take that in mind that this just my observations.)
To put it bluntly: YES! Most Iranians tend to think that they are of a "different blood" than others. It doesn’t mean that they don’t respect other races, visa versa.... It's just that they are 'different'. & being different doesn’t necessarily mean 'being better'.
It doesn’t matter how long one may live with Iranians & it doesn’t matter how many real-blood-Iranian does one have as friends or in-laws, s/he would never be IRANI. S/he would be treated respectfully, would be loved & befriend with & would feel at home around Iranians yet there would be a boundary that s/he cannot cross. I don’t know how I can explain it... it's not that the person would be treated out of the ordinary... but s/he remains a guest (a beloved & appreciated guest on that).
My late great-grandmother was from Russia & she, still, after 4 generations is referred to as 'Russian Princess'. Even in my family- which happens to be very broad-minded about other races- the boundary shows when it comes to certain aspects like getting married. Recently a cousin of mine was about to get married to an American & surprisingly some of the elderly people opposed it! She got married anyway & we the younger generation supported her. However she is lucky that she is accepted into the family; when my great-aunt decided to marry a Swiss, she was banned from attending any kind of family union.
Nevertheless the case is really cool with Westerners (Europeans & Americans) when it is compared to Arabs or other nations. I have Arab friends & I also know people from other nations & I don’t mean to put down anyone here. However most Iranians tend to think really low about them & that is due to some historical conflicts between the two nations. I know that most of us get a bit prejudiced over the nationality issue especially when we are compared to or taken for Arabs. & as a very small part of Iranian society, I try to change that.... if I would ever have any children, I shall teach them to love everybody regardless of the nation, religion & race.
Tonight we discussed the question over our dinner & my father answered the question: definitely! He said that he might 'tolerate' & befriend with a foreigner but he can never think of him as Iranian. This kind of shocked me since my father is known for his hospitality toward strangers. Then he explained himself & I'm trying to translate his words as accurate as I can. He said that being friend & respecting another human is one thing & ignoring the differences is another thing. Accepting a foreigner as someone who is grown up on our culture is like forcing a black to change his skin color (either because one do not like the color or thinks it goes more with the person). When it comes to differences we must accept people they way they are not the way we want them to be. Then he asked me that if I would live in another country (e.g. America) would I be American or Iranian? & my answer was clearly the latter then he asked if I wanted to be known as 'American' in the situation which I definitely not. Thus he concluded that if I respect human beings the way I claim to, then I shall respect the diversity of cultures & nations & not to 'uncategorize' people. Honestly, I never thought about the matter like that before so I thought I would share my dad's word with you. He sometimes can get rather philosophical as you can see. But all in all that's why I love him so much.