The Outlook

Well, the unfortunate point is, I know exactly where I'm standing right now in my life and even more unfortunate, I know where I'm heading. Isn't that something?

Being a PhD student at 33 was not something I planned... it just happened that way. In my outline, I had the PhD by 44... before that I was too young!

Now, I am sitting here, at my old desk, looking back at the road that took me (rather than I take it) and I see where I've been and glancing forward I see the road flat and with few bumps ahead.
Most people reach this stage of life somewhere along 30... right? I never figured I was one of them... I always pictured myself being more breezy, more ethereal... more u shape turns... turns out in the end, even the rebel in me cuts a clear road and packs up and follow...

Hail to following the clear flat road... 

Back at 25...

Today there had been an article in Quera asking at 25 would you have perused a "game" job which made you unhappy or a hobby which would not pay the bills but keep you happy?

That got me thinking... what did I do back at 25? I already had a job which more than pay the bills and granted me pursuit of studies - which at the time I considered my hobby. 

It was way later when I figured out that my job has been a drag and the budget got short so the bills remained unpaid and my hobbies faded one by one until I left with no hobby at all.... Well, that would be overstating however you get the picture.

Life had been a steep slope to abyss of happiness for past 4 years... I can tell that it had been the same for almost all my friends... for some more than others. We lost jobs, quit schools, married, divorced, got in and out of relationships, felt the economic crisis to our bones. We saw our beloved Mirhossein, Rahnavard and Karoubi being home-poisoned. Our friends got arrested, accused of unjust accusations and sentenced... We've been through hell and back...

Back at 25, my life was a fun ride on roller coaster. I would be out hanging out with friends almost every night. We had our ladies night out. We had our road trips and books and movies and life was just a game. Would I have chosen to leave my job at the time to pursue my hobby of learning the art of PR if I had known the pressure we would feel 4 years later in 2009? Or it would have been a better job I might have sought? I don't know. I think neither. I would have done the same... even if I knew 8 years later I would be willing to give up everything and start fresh.