A Site to Check How Abnormal You Are!

Non-Normy is a site where you see how abnormal you are....
My score is 49.9 which means I'm definitely a Non-normy! & I need serious help!
So yeah... watch out fellas! Here is the kingdom of abnormal people!

Executive Management...

I got admitted into the institue!
Can't Beleive it yet... I'm going to study once again!
That's wonderful... I just need to get through with my job, either that I continue or quit... I need to get things straihght at work.
But this is just palin nice.
It was only last night that I saw 2 of my friends off & i was so down & so sick I could not see any beauty around me.... I told Ava (U remember my friend right?) That I was at the bottom of the abbyss, & there would be only one way... UP!
& UP I go...!

Dark Matter & Dark Energy

Starnge enough huh?
As a kid ASTRONOMY used to play a very huge role in my life. I used to have this BIG dream of finding out more about Dark Matter.
I used to be the facinated with the night sky... the stars, the milky way... & most nights I would lay on my bed & think about dark matter & solar system. & the day we would all be lost in dark energy.
So... this is a childhood carving poping up again. Enjoy.

He is off to war...

I know I let him do whatever he wants....

But do not ask me to kiss him farewell.

Don't ask me to wish him well & success.

Yes, I pray for him to back in one piece

And to have the mental ability to get through life afterwards.

But don't ask me to justify the murder of humanity.

Don't ask me to hope he would kill instead of being killed.

Don't ask me to understand.

WAR is the ugliest reality I could not comprehend.

This is just a post... I dreamt of someone going off to war & I wrote those lines.

The new Blogger...

I like this new blogger already. It's cool!

TrippingOnWords

TrippingOnWords
A wonderful blog to visit... just loved it.

Bon Voyage Honey.

So another friend is off to Austerlia.... He is off to persue his dream, to see the world that is not so wacked he can not breathe in.
We'd been talking about it for sometime but it came to me as a shock when i learened he is to be gone next week.
I'm going to miss him... but I wish him luck & all the happiness in the world.

Discovery

I figured:

Nothing Changes unless you change the way you look at it.

But the point is, as Pardis said, I'm liking it like that.... I want the vally to be too deep & I want the road up to be difficult.... That's how I am: Never gaining anything easily.

Comin down with a Cold in Summer?

It just dont feel right.... Life in general does not feel right, at least for now.
I have got a cold.... Horribale way to spend the weekend.
I feel lonely & stranded. The gang went out to a picnic... I could not go due to my job & being sick. & I decided to come here & whine a little!
I wanted to go... I really wanted to go! *CRY*
& that's not all... I'm in a phase of low mood.... I feel that loneliness is eating me. I feel I have no one to talk to, to care about & to hold.... I feel like all the love in the world is not enough to outgrow the coldness & withedrawal in me.... to fill this void of emotions.
It seems that the abyss is eating my soul in it & I can not help but to stare at how my life turns into a big 'nothingness'
I know I will be back up on top of the world but right now, the valley is too deep to climb!

Iran's persident Blog

My president's Blog... Enjoy!
www.ahmadinejad.ir

Myspace is Closed Finally.

Another restriction on comunincations Over here:
Sometimes I wonder how long one may put up with this. I mean what harm cam a friendship bring to a country?
I wish people could see that friendship will find a way to stay alive. Communicate Anyway, Anyhow.
PS: If any of you have the access to Myspace Please check my profile & leave a scrab with my email: Proshat@gmail.com so that I can recieve mails & please tell people that Myspace is closed here. Thanks in advance.

Quotation!

I like to check Quotations from time to time. They do say A lot about people.
Here is my quotation of the day:

The reasonable man adapts himself to the
world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), Man and Superman (1903) "Maxims for Revolutionists"
What do you think?
Ps: Thanks for the comments on the previous post. I know that ot's not like me to step up for things like that. & i have vowed not to let my political side & my social-sensetive side on in this blog. I tried to keep it as personal as it could be. Just to show the ordinary days of an ordinary girl but there are times I can not hide my disappointment about what's going on at the end of my nose.
I have learend that unjustice is practiced world-wide. There is no paradise on earth, some more, some less, everywhere you can find human rights being violated. Disregards to the basic rights have just become part of everyone's daily lives. Still, I feel like I have to speak up. I wish I could do something but I can't.

I dont know how true it is...

I read this in Lance Bass's Myspace & I'm yet to find out more. But Since a lot of people can not access Lance's Blog I thought I would put it here too. Maybe someone would give the confirmations.
Anyhow, I'm sorry.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

This makes me sick (not for the weak of heart) I can not believe human beings can do this to one another!
July 21, 2005
IRAN EXECUTES 2 GAY TEENAGERS (updated)
Update August
14: While the following post is a bit dated, it is still relevant. However,
subsequent information received from Iran since the post below was written indicates that the charge of "rape" against the two teens was entirely trumped up by the religious authorities who control the legal system and has no basis in fact. Moreover, we have received word of two more hangings of a gay couple scheduled in Iran for August 28. So, to be up-to-date on where this story stands, make sure you check out the update links at the end of this post, as
well as my latest post on the two new scheduled executions of gays in Iran. And
watch this blog for continuing coverage of the new wave of anti-gay repression in
Iran, as we are continuing to work this story from Iranian sources and will be
posting more news from Iran as reliable information is received and confirmed. . Two gay Iranian teenagers -- one 18, the other believed to be 16 or 17, were executed this week for the "crime" of homosexuality, the Iranian Student News
Agency (ISNA) reported on July 19. (The ISNA report is in Farsi, and was
translated into English by the British gay rights group OutRage!, which released its
report today--ISNA also provided the terrifying photos of the teens' last
moments you see on this page. You can see an enlarged version of each photo
by left-clicking on them) The two youths -- identified only by their initials as
M.A. and A.M., were hanged on July 19 in Edalat (Justice) Square in the city of
Mashhad in north-eastern Iran, on the orders of Court No. 19. The hanging of the
teens was also reported by the National Council of Resistance of Iran.
And the website Iran Focus not only confirms the story but provides more details, reporting that "Members of Irans parliament from the north-eastern city of Mashad, where a minor and an 18-year-old man were publicly hanged yesterday,
vented their anger on Wednesday on foreign and domestic news outlets for reporting the ages of hanged prisoners...Ultra-conservative deputy Ali Asgari said
that the two deserved to be hanged in public, adding, 'Whatever sentence is decreed by an Islamic penal system must be approved, unless proven otherwise.' Asgari
complained of foreign and domestic reporting that the two were mere boys. 'Instead of paying tribute to the action of the judiciary, the media are mentioning the age of the hanged criminals and creating a commotion that harms the interests of the state,' the member of the Majlis Legal Affairs Committee
said. 'Even if certain websites made a reference to their age, journalists should not pursue this. These individuals were corrupt. Their sentence was carried out with the approval of the judiciary and it served them right.'
"Consensual gay sex in any form is punishable by death in the Islamic Republic
of Iran. According to the website Age of Consent, which monitors
such laws around the world, in Iran "Homosexuality is illegal, those charged with love-making are given a choice of four deathstyles: being hanged, stoned, halved by a sword, or dropped from the highest perch. According to Article 152, if two men
not related by blood are discovered naked under one cover without good reason,
both will be punished at a judge's discretion. Gay teens (Article 144) are also punished at a judge's discretion. Rubbing one's penis between the thighs without penetration (tafheed) shall be punished by 100 lashes for each offender. This act, known to the English-speaking world as 'frottage,' is punishable by death if the
'offender' is a non-Muslim. If frottage is thrice repeated and penalty-lashes
have failed to stop such repetitions, upon the fourth 'offense' both men will be
put to death. According to Article 156, a person who repents and
confesses his gay behavior prior to his identification by four witnesses, may be pardoned.
Even kissing 'with lust' (Article 155) is forbidden. This bizarre law works to
eliminate old Persian male-bonding customs, including common kissing and holding
hands in public." And Outrage, in its release about the gay teens' execution,
noted that, "according to Iranian human rights campaigners, over 4000 lesbians
and gay men have been executed since the Ayatollahs seized power in 1979. Last
August, a 16-year-old girl , [Atefeh Rajabi] was hanged [in the Caspian port of Neka] for 'acts incompatible with chastity,' [i.e., sex before marriage]."
In the case of the two teens hanged in Mashhad, "They admitted having gay sex (probably under torture) but claimed in their defense that most young boys had sex with each other and that they were not aware that homosexuality was punishable by death," according to the ISNA report as translated by OutRage.
"Prior to their execution, the gay teenagers were held in prison for 14
months and severely beaten with 228 lashes. The length of their detention
suggests that they committed the so-called offenses more than a year earlier, when they were possibly around the age of 16."
"Ruhollah Rezazadeh, the lawyer of the younger of the two boys, had appealed that he was too young to be executed and that the court should take into account his
tender age (believed to be 16 or 17). But the Supreme Court in Tehran Ordered him to be hanged." As a state party
to the International Convention on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR)
and the Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC), Iran has undertaken not to execute anyone for an offence committed when they were under the age of 18 -- which means that by hanging the two youths Iran is in violation of international law.The Iranian authorities are putting out a cover story that the two boys had participated in the rape of a 13-year-old, but OutRage affirms from its sources
that this accusation is a smokescreen for inhuman conduct and is without foundation.
However, the Murdoch press (e.g., the Times of London) is putting about the Iranian government's story as a virtual statement of fact. But there is no mention of this Iranian government accusation in the original ISNA report, otherwise quitedetailed.-- which rather suggests it's a recent invention. Furthermore, it is hardly surprising that, at the very moment at which Iran is engaged in the most delicate negotiation with the Western powers over nuclear materials -- the outcome of which will have a profound impact on the Iranian economy --the Iranian government, when
caught in a heinous act of barbarity that is also a violation of Iran's commitments under international law -- should try to find a new excuse for the inexcusable. (Make sure to read the latest updates since this post was written, which indicate to a near certainty that the "rape" charge was fictitious and invented by the religious authorities -- see update links below). Left-click on the third photo above and look at the enlarged version, which shows the younger of the two adolescents weeping as he's carried off in a police van to the end of his young life. Then, if you would like to protest the barbaric hanging of these two lads to whom nature gave
same-sex hearts, follow the suggestion of the Human Rights Campaign which -- citing this blog -- has written to Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice demanding that she formally protest these executions, which you should do as well. If you want to
protest directly to the Iranian government, be aware that, while the
U.S. has no diplomatic relations with Iran, there is an Iranian embassy in Canada. You may write, telephone, or fax the Iranian ambassador in Canada:Ambassador Seyed Mouhammad Ali Moosavi, Embassy of Iran, 245 Metcalfe
St., Ottawa, Ontario .K2P
2K2 Canada Telephone (OO1-613-
235-4726, 233-4726;
Fax, 233-5712
UPDATE JULY
27: For a commentary on
the controversy over the hangings and the "rape" charge since the above was published, see my article for the Gay City News, which you can read by clicking
here. UPDATE AUGUST 11: New reports from inside Iran and inside Mashad, where the boys were executed, strongly challenge the validity of the charge of "rape" for which the Iranian government claims the boys were hanged, and it is now virtually certain that the "rape" charge was invented by the religious authorities who control the legal system -- to read about these new reports from inside Iran, see the article I wrote for Gay City News -- the largest gay weekly in New York City -- by clicking here. Furthermore, as the new wave of anti-gay repression in Iran snowballs, we have received reports of two new Iranian executions of gays which are scheduled to take place in the city of Arak on August 28. For news of these new death sentences for homosexuality in Iran, click here. UPDATE AUGUST 17: For the Latest from Inside Iran as the Pace of the Deadly Anti-Gay CrackdownSteps Up, click here.

& this is my comment to the post:

Dear Mr. Bass;
I didn’t address you as Lance cos that’s how I call my favorite NSYNCer. I address you Mr. Bass for the respect I feel for you. What you mentioned here, although passing over some minor points (like the fact that they have been accused of theft, alcohol drinking, disturbing social safety beside homosexual relationship), seems to be a true story happening in my country. Iran is where I grew up & lived my whole life. & I am one of the people who face the daily life here everyday. It’s not only homosexuals they punish… the state of having sexual relations outside marriage bond is the same for hetro & homosexuals alike. They did not got hanged because they were gays (it only made it worst) but due to the fact that they were having ‘extra marital relationship’. Did you know that a woman can get killed by stones for committing adultery here?
Yes, I live in Iran. & the situation is not good. I’m not homosexual myself but I have both gay & les friends & they are happy as they are. The point is that they don’t come out like you were free to do. I know a lot of people who are what is called homophobic. They just have to get educated to learn that love is love & that there is nothing wrong with ‘strange people doing unnatural thing’.
I wish that some other people inside Iran would read your blog. I’m still trying to find reliable Farsi sources on what has exactly happened & I try to leave a comment for you if I ever find anything. & BTW, they are banning Myspace in Iran so I hope to be able to get back here.
Thanks for the concern though. & maybe one day I would tell you about how I ended up in jail for going on a vacation with my friends… how I myself been accused of committing adultery type I (something along the line of being with someone without having sexual affair) & how my friends were treated like trash. Maybe one day….

Oh I forgot...
Iranian history is full of support for Gays. Most ex-rulers of this country had 'male' lovers, who in fact were the rulers. Some of them are very famous & some of our great literature figures have some very moving poems about their gay partners.
There is even a city well known for homosexuality. We are not that bad. Don’t judge all the Iranians the same.

Family Time

Yesterday Dad & I sat in the ballconey for a chat. It was really refreshing for me to be able to sit & enjoy the afternoon with my parents. Recently, I feel that I dont spend enough time with them. Usually I'm too tried from making it through another day at work to sit back & relax with them. & as I try not to have dinner, I mostly miss the dinner chat which is a ritual in my family. Perhaps I had been too caught up in my problems at work that I did forget about the mircle that a little chat does.
It was nothing special & we just had a good laugh over stupid facts. & then just sat there for a while. It reminded me of good old days when we used to chit-chat & play memory-games there. & then I felt belonged. I felt that no matter how difficult it would be to survive another day at work, no matter what I would have to go through in my life, I could always come back home & craddle with dad & that would make everything alright. Or I would just let my mom hug me for a while & no harm, no malicous intention will ever hurt me again.
Lord, I'm grateful for th blessing you gave to me in the form of family.

Good Grace.

I'm done with Fan-fiction forever!
Some of you might know that I am a fiction writer & that I sometimes writes fan-fictions. Well, Last summer around this time of year I was writing one about 'Mark Feehilly of Westlife' who'm I adore. & I was about to finish the story by the scheme I had in mind when he announced that he was gay. I still love him & I adore his voice & his work & I personally dont have anything about being on the other side. Truth be known I even find it quit rational & in my mind I always suspected that he was not straight due to a lot of small facts, yet the story never got finished. I did not dare to attach him to some girl.
& this summer I was writing about 'Lance Bass of *NSYNC' & guess what? He is gay too & I always known that he was not straight. So I guess I have to give up on writing fiction about hotties.... I never will finish them anyway. ;)
*note* I really dont think that what other's feel is any of my businees & I dont mind them being what they are. I'm still their fan. I become a fan for the music & for their voices.... & that's what matters to me.
I'm happy for them as long as they are happy.

UC Berkeley student's poem to Hezbollah

I found it here... Without a change: & with no intention of taking sides. I think a ceasefire is needed to save lives. I hate the fact that cicilians are killing in both sides

I Don’t Want to Love You,

But I DoYou were born out of death to a life in a cage
Where bombs are not the only reason people die
Fed by the violence of hunger and homelessness
Raised by colonialism
Your heart and your will still grew strong

You scare meNot just because they tell me to be scared
Not just because they repeat, repeat, repeatThe story of
1983
Begging me to understand
Americans are worth more than Lebanese

Why do they never tell me about Jihad al Bina
That you have created so much
Saved so many lives
Improved so many moreIt scares me

When I admit to myself
That I would be more scared without you
If I still took the time to see

To see the violence that does not just fall from the
skies
that exists in hunger and homelessness
in colonialism

It scares me
That my hope is tangled up
In actions I would never want to commit

But I don’t sleep much these days
And I’ve tried hard
But I haven’t found
Anything
to give me hope that they will listen

They repeat, repeat, repeat
The story of Gaza withdrawal
Hoping we won’t see
The violence that continues
That kills in so many ways
Hoping we will now support it
Or at least stop looking

They insist talk does not work
When there is no one to talk to
It is hard to find an interlocutor
When you’re not willing to listen
To see
To feel

How do you keep faith that talk will work
When even they are insisting it won’t?

I am learning to have hope in you
I am learning to see you as so much more
Than those actions I would never want to commit

You amaze me.
Born out of death to a life in a cage
Raised by colonialism
You did not accept imprisonment as natural
You did not accept hunger as justice
You did not acceptthe ceaseless killing in so many ways
Of those next to you
Or those farther away

I love you
But I will never be yours
I don’t want you inside me
You are too male for me
And I cannot, gratefully, fully silence the voice that
insists:
Some deaths you did accept
Including of some who were listening

That is why the full statement that the question-marks pry me with
reads:
It is sad, but I’m learning to have hope in Hizbulla
Maybe it is the naivety
of one whose life has never been directly threatened
I still believe:
Be the change you want to see in the world.

Dare To dream?

Are You daring enough to jump fo the unknown? Are you brave enough to do strech out your wings & fly?
Dare to dream?
Sky is the limit!
-----------------------------
As I can not check blogspot I cannot leave a reply on it. So dear Lynne about nagging Mom. Well, I can say she will nag but she will be disappionted & she would probably get worried. It's not about the money, as a lady who always had been a top career girl & a highly respected manager she can not understand that someone (namely me) cannot adapat herself with the situation. She truely wants me to be as successful as herself & that would be very hard.
I know how your mother can get about the job. It's just that they want us to be happy & successful but they think that quiting the job is some kind of a failure for us.
& believe me failure is word none of my parents understand.
It's good to have such supporting & caring parents but sometimes it's just hard to live up to their expectations. (Well, & they tell me where I have gain my idealistism & being a perfectionist... They may just take a look at themselves sometimes.)
Anyway, We both know that we love them to death! I guess wht my cousin say is true: You cant live with them, you can not live without them!

There are

There are 2 type of things I should consider:
1- qiut my job. Lose the salary I have with no hope to get insurance money.
2- Do the job. Be humilated. Not be considered. &... But gian an almost-reasonable salary & have insurance.
which one you would choose?

Not to Be Judged...

Straight from BBC News:

At least 362 Lebanese, many of them civilians, have been killed during the conflict, which is now into its 13th day. Thirty-seven Israelis have been killed, about half of them civilians.

This is the link to Rice's comments on Mid-East Crissis.
I have absolutely no comments.

Spare time?

Oh... no!
I guess I make the spare time I use. I know that if I dont plan my wekend to do some fun, I perobably would sleep all day. So I try to use every second of that doing what I like. Listening to music, watching movies, going out!
I've learend that life is too short to be spent without fun & no one makes time for you if u yourself wont find time for yourself.