Boyfriends:

Honestly it never did cross my mind that others wanted to know about how Iranians date. I mean, the point is that's a very personal & private matter in my opinion. & everybody has different idea about it.
I do understand that having a boyfriend had been kind of a taboo in my country for so long, like the s** matter & every other related subject, it had only been talked about in the safety within the closed doors. I'm not saying that I comprehend why or that my family practices that kind of thoughts. Being brought up in an open-minded family, the question about guys & how to treat them never actually bothered me much. They had been my friends, co-players, co-students &.... so really there had never been once in my personal life that I had to think of them as a taboo.
However, there are so many girls out there in my country who still have problem with boyfriend issues. What is natural friendship in my opinion happens to be a hidden taboo in someone else's. Therefore it is totally understandable that a question about dating issue would be brought up in a conversation with a foreigner. The fact is that I had been questioned whether I do believe in dating or not & also if I had dated anyone or not.
As I mentioned before that is a very personal issue; yet I will answer them later on for now I want to talk about the majority of people I do know. Most of my friends, both guys & gals, had been in relationships before. Some even dated around, trying to find their suitable match. & it is natural for them to have girlfriends & boyfriends as well as just-friends. At least it's like that in the part of the society I am personally involved with. I have met people who didn't believe in dating & going on an even a friendly date with a guy was a big hush-hush for them. But well everyone is entitled to their own opinion & there is no way I could say that it is wrong or right. & yeah keep in mind that I'm just talking about dating & not S**.
As for the S** part, again most of people I know don’t consider it as a taboo yet they believe in s** in marriage & staying virgin till then. However, I have acquaintances who believe in making love when they are in a happy serious relationship & they practice it. No harm done anyway in my humble opinion since usually this kind of relationships end up in a marriage over here. So basically it depends on the viewer choice of point of view.
Now back to the questions: I have no objection to dating & I would not keep my relationship hush-hush if I had one. That is stupid. Either you believe in having a relationship & dating or you're not; so if you don’t, just don’t do it! I hate feeling creepy about anything & relationships are just the same. What's the point of sneaking out & meeting low & always fear someone would catch you?
I had never dated though; I mean I have guy-friends but there is no feeling romance between any of them & me. It's not because I am afraid or things like that. It's just that I don’t like to date around, have fun with people I don’t know, go on blind dates or whatever. & to be honest I am not a person who catches the eyes at first. & I am sure that I have mentioned that I am a fat girl & I have very average looks. Not that I don’t like myself, but frankly I am not someone who people wants to look at twice. So that could be another reason.
On the other hand, going out with someone who is not the right one & there is nothing between the tow is pointless. Most of the time I start a friendship first if I want to really date someone & after a while I just figure that there is no spark between us & we are just good friends. I admit that I have had crushes but they never ended up to a relationship. & in some points I get asked out, which usually caught me off-guard since I can not see what they see in me to start a date to begin with.
On the S** part, I am a believer in staying virgin. & it has nothing to with it being a taboo. It's just that I feel having a sexual relationship brings commitment & it's not the way I want to live my life. I am a free spirit, not to be bound to any kind of obligations.
This is really complicated, & I am no ordinary girl so do not base your judgment about Iranian girls on my personal opinions. I just hope that the friend who asked me would have got his answer. & I made a public answer to subside the hesitation some people feel about this particular issue in Iran.
BTW, to the dear friend I mentioned: you can remember that I don’t believe in marriages & living happily ever after for sure. So don’t start with the whole thing again. This is totally different with dating. & in my world dating doesn’t lead to wedding rings!
Sorry if the post is rather personal but I should have been done. Anyway, do you remember the other friend I told you about who liked me? Well, he brought the subject up a while back & I just gave him my tow cents on the matter & we worked things out. I guess he handled it very well & he moved on easily cos he is already engaged with someone. It was fast! I wish him & the soon to be bride all the best.... it's cool to have a close married friend!

The neighbors

I guess I have talked about the neighborhood I do live in before. But I never got to talk about the neighbors I have.
My family had lived in the same apartment building for the past 30 years. Wow to think of it, it's even longer than I existed. There are 8 apartments in the building we live in. Three of them are half-empty & the owners only drop by when they come over to Tehran (tow lives aboard & one in a south-western city of KHORAM ABAD)
This fact leaves only 5 settled-in flats in the building, three of which (including ours) are occupied by the families who had been here over the last 30 years like us. & the other tow family neighbors are pretty new, one just moved in a year ago & the other 2 years back.
We live like a very big family.... I mean we have our privacy & all but in times of trouble we look out for each other. Living together for so long the new generation, as I may put it, has grown up together. I had babysat for my baby-sister as well as the twins who just live downstairs.... The twins & my sister are as old my sis & they are best friends actually. I, Elsie & Ethan are friends too. Elsie is the oldest among us, going on 26, then it's me being 24 & the youngest in the threesome is Ethan, 22. Through the years we learned all about our weaknesses & strength. We had fought, played, laughed & cried together... & we share a history that is hard to ignore. We had been there the first time each one of us fell in love, or when we had our hearts broken.
Elsie had to move out for a year to complete her study in pharmacology. She left this very summer & now she is back for a visit. While we were over at her place, Ethan said something that is carved in my memory; that somehow made me think of how precious this people are to me.
He said: "could you even imagine a day when we all grow up & return here only as guests?"
By the way; last time I used chalks & Black boards is going back to the time I was a third grader.... We Have White boards here... Too bad I am in love Chalks & Blackboards....

There is the cutest in our CLC class:

They come to class together & it just seems so nice... the way they try to share each other's passion for English & the way they try to make time in their hectic life just to be with each other in the classroom. I keep thinking about their lives & the way they keep their love alive. It's so tremendous that.... I can't even describe the feeling I get just watching them. May Lord be their savior.
Yeah... it's raining cats & dogs outside although we had a very warm & sunny day! It's unbelievable that I had to carry my coat everywhere today & it never rained or got cold & now that I am back inside... it simply pours! What more do I have to say?
I had to go to one of the campuses up in the north of Tehran today to have a talk with a professor. So I had to wake up soon & head out which meant that I only got five hours of sleep. & that means that I had slept only 3 hours a night on average over the past week.
Anyhow the professor was having a meeting somewhere else & I was told to rearrange my meeting for 12 o'clock which was fine by me.
Then I had to drive all the way to west of Tehran to check out some stupid pay-bills. By the time I was almost done, it was the time to drive back to the campus for the meeting so you guess.... magically I got there on time but the professor never showed up! So the meeting where rearranged for Wednesday! I got back home, parked the car, changed my clothes & head out for my class. My students had an oral midterm & they were just waiting on the edge. It took a whole tow hour!
Well, I am going to scan a piece of paper which would be my 7-year-old student dictation in near future & I am going to ask you to find out the true word he had to write! He can talk really well & he answers the questions correctly. But when it comes to dictation.... do you think he might have a problem or something?

What's this with students & a sub teacher?

My CLC teacher had taken a day off & so another teacher was to attend the class on that day. & a few friends decided to ditch the class & you know the rest.
The funny part is that... the sub teacher is the supervisor of the institute & she had been the examiner in some of our friends' oral exam. (She had also been my teacher about 5 years ago)
One of the students told us in the last session that when Miss S. (as I'm going to call the sub teacher) was taking an oral exam & had asked him "What's your name?" he had answered "Ra...Ha..." although his name is "Rasa". He was telling us that he had even forgotten his name!
He was one of the classmates who ditched the class... I called after him "I am going to tell her that you are running away!" he turned around "don’t worry she thinks my names is Raha!"
Do I need to say more?

What's this with students & a sub teacher?

My CLC teacher had taken a day off & so another teacher was to attend the class on that day. & a few friends decided to ditch the class & you know the rest.
The funny part is that... the sub teacher is the supervisor of the institute & she had been the examiner in some of our friends' oral exam. (She had also been my teacher about 5 years ago)
One of the students told us in the last session that when Miss S. (as I'm going to call the sub teacher) was taking an oral exam & had asked him "What's your name?" he had answered "Ra...Ha..." although his name is "Rasa". He was telling us that he had even forgotten his name!
He was one of the classmates who ditched the class... I called after him "I am going to tell her that you are running away!" he turned around "don’t worry she thinks my names is Raha!"
Do I need to say more?

My new conversion class!

So there you Shahram! If you ever got the hold of my blog's address, this is about you!
Alright I'm back in an English conversion class & its fun! I met a whole bunch of new group who happens to be very fun to be around & besides Ava is there with which is the best part! Cos it means that I get a whole tow hour to be with her.
I like our teacher... she is a pretty young lady & I like her method of teaching. I don’t know my classmates that well & it's quite soon to judge.
Well, there is this 21-year-old boy in our class who happens to be the youngest. & he really doesn't bother himself to talk accurately so everybody is either pulling his leg or counting his mistakes.
Last session he was talking & he used the correct form of the verb in his sentence for the first time since I know him! & it's something that is not going to happen in the next century! You can see that how important this was! Another classmate of mine joked with him "oh... you should have used HADN'T STUDIED not DIDN'T STYDY." She told him. "Really?!!! Ok! I hadn't studied...." was his reaction toward it!
'K Shahram if you really got to be reading this somehow, I'm just joking! You are the class's soul kiddie!

Who moved my cheese?

Have you read the book by John Spencer? Well, I have. & I expected it to have a miraculous effect on my life which it didn’t so far. However I found it rather true & quite interesting. The book is right: it can do nothing for people who don’t want to help themselves.
So here I am trying to help myself to overcome the changes in my life. There has been a change for sure & I know it; yet what I don’t know is how I can move with my cheese. I mean what's there to be found by me. So in a way I have to find out what my cheese is, which happens not to be the exact easiest thing I can handle.
I know what I don’t want to be & I know deep inside there is an image, a dream living in my heart. & while I'm trying to clarify the blur in my mind, I'm quitting the teaching job! I figured I can not handle a class of 7-13 year olds! I was going nuts! The paying was even less than enough to pay my communication expenses & to be honest I gathered one must be in love with teaching to stay in the business. Grandpa I hope if you get to read you don’t become upset with me. I think you are a very noble man who could have handled the job for all those years. Muhammad once said "teaching is the prophet's job." & I guess he is right.
Anyway I acknowledged the institute that I'm not going to teach next term. I will fulfill this semester & then I am off. I'm applying for a few job vacancies & I hope to find a more related job to my field of study.
Well, that's one change for sure. & I guess I might want to try my luck in getting a new degree in management or something.... So here I come! Let's change!

A typical day in my life:

I woke @ 6 by the sound of the door; it was my mom as always for the past 29 years! (I know I am only 24 but she has been working since 29 years ago!) She left the house for work & I sat up straight in the bed & thought about going out to balcony & shout goodbye, which obviously I didn’t.
Then I get back to sleep since I have no class today & that means I can do whatever I want to. & once again I woke up by father knocking on my door asking if I wanted to accompany him for breakfast before he left.... & of course I did accept. He had caught cold & so I guess he needs a bit pampering if you know what I mean. We tried to tempt my sis to join us but she said no... Well, she doesn’t like breakfasts!
All through the meal we talked about debates going on in America & also about AHOORA! This AHOORA guy is self-acclaimed oppose leader who want to "free" Iran by October 1st. that means we are living in "free" Iran right now! I'm gonna talk about him more, later on. But let's get on with my day.
I went back sleeping after dad left! You know me sleeping is my favorite time pass *grin*. Then I woke at last about 10:30 & decided to watch some movies. I had to use my pc since VCD player was being used by my sis. & I watched "Collateral" & Mr. Tom Cruise was great! It is really strange I usually enjoy the movies others don’t like! I was told that the movie is s*** (sorry for the language!) & I liked it!
Well, I don’t remember having anything for lunch though Fabi, my sister, made very delicious toast but I didn’t feel like it. It had been her birthday yesterday & she was on the phone the whole morning! We watched a soap opera together & then I went for a walk.
I usually wonder why people tend to call me when I am out of the house! Using my cell is not something I would like to do a lot while I am walking & I cannot avoid it by any means! Ten minutes after I set out my friend Pat (do you remember him from our gang?!!!) called me up to say he misses me & others & to ask whether I was free for the evening so we can hang out... which I accepted not-so-eagerly to be honest cos I'm sure if I would be around this weekend & I didn’t want to upset him. I really miss the way we used to hang out before. We used to spend our whole weeks together & now that I look back; I can see that we had pretty good time together. Let's hope I get time to hang out with him. Any way we'd been on phone for 15 minutes while I was walking & I pray he would not a heart attack when he gets to pay his cell bill. *rolling eyes*
Then I walk for another 10 minutes just listening to my CD man & feeling good! But no I had to be interrupted. Another family friend just called to say hi! & he sounded a bit low so I asked what was wrong. *wrong question* he talked for a good half an hour non-stop with me saying "hummm..." "Really?!!!!!!!!" "No of course I don’t think so..." "Yes I do believe that..." you see? I gathered he calls me up whenever he needs some extra attention!
So that's how I passed my evening. Coming back home, the family decided to watch a movie together so we watched "Mama's Guest" an Iranian comedy by DARUOSH MEHRJOOEE.
Now I am sitting at my desk writing this stuff & trying to figure the good point in my free-day. Well, I can't find any! I mean except for having breakfast with dad & talking with the guy I mentioned.
& yeah I need to pick up a subject for my conversion class on Sunday! Any helping hand out there? & don’t even think about politics. It got rejected the first moment I brought that up!

Iran & Iraq: resemblances & differences.

Growing up in a politically educated family, I can't help but react to the most important political event of the world. (Well, doesn’t this sound rather stupid? Why should presidential election in one country gains this much attention? It's America who must concentrate on their four upcoming years not the rest of the world you know?)
Senator John Kerry had commented in his presidential debate that Iran & North Korea were more dangerous than Iraq. Well, at least that's what I guessed from his words. I am not sure if that means that he plans on attacking Iran or not; however I decided to write a few words about it.
Once upon a time there was a region called Mesopotamia. Mesopotamia was a place between tow main rivers in Middle East: Forat & Dejla. & once upon a time Iranian Emperors were ruling over Mesopotamia. But that's all history literally.
As long as I can remember -& that's not so long ago- Iran & Iraq had been enemies. Or I rather say Iranian government didn’t see eye to eye with Iraqis. Though most of Iranians I know would like to visit Iraq since some of our Imam's tombs are located there. We share many points with Iraq: we are Moslems to be specific most of us are sheea.
Still sharing the history & religion doesn’t exactly mean that we would act the same in similar situations for instance in being attacked. I know that we don’t have the most democratic government in the world & I also believe that there are a lot of people here who are classified as Dissenters, yet it is obvious that Iranians don’t want other countries to meddle in their business; since if they feel the need for a change, a revolution will cover it.
Iran is one of the countries in the Middle East which had never been a Colony. Foreignism has never been a desired practice in my country, though I must admit that our affairs had never been devoid of foreign hand.
I don’t know. May be I read too much into Senator Kerry's statements. Yet believe me attacking Iran is not the answer.By the way, I still think Senator Kerry will win the election.

Iran & Iraq: resemblances & differences.

Growing up in a politically educated family, I can't help but react to the most important political event of the world. (Well, doesn’t this sound rather stupid? Why should presidential election in one country gains this much attention? It's America who must concentrate on their four upcoming years not the rest of the world you know?)
Senator John Kerry had commented in his presidential debate that Iran & North Korea were more dangerous than Iraq. Well, at least that's what I guessed from his words. I am not sure if that means that he plans on attacking Iran or not; however I decided to write a few words about it.
Once upon a time there was a region called Mesopotamia. Mesopotamia was a place between tow main rivers in Middle East: Forat & Dejla. & once upon a time Iranian Emperors were ruling over Mesopotamia. But that's all history literally.
As long as I can remember -& that's not so long ago- Iran & Iraq had been enemies. Or I rather say Iranian government didn’t see eye to eye with Iraqis. Though most of Iranians I know would like to visit Iraq since some of our Imam's tombs are located there. We share many points with Iraq: we are Moslems to be specific most of us are sheea.
Still sharing the history & religion doesn’t exactly mean that we would act the same in similar situations for instance in being attacked. I know that we don’t have the most democratic government in the world & I also believe that there are a lot of people here who are classified as Dissenters, yet it is obvious that Iranians don’t want other countries to meddle in their business; since if they feel the need for a change, a revolution will cover it.
Iran is one of the countries in the Middle East which had never been a Colony. Foreignism has never been a desired practice in my country, though I must admit that our affairs had never been devoid of foreign hand.
I don’t know. May be I read too much into Senator Kerry's statements. Yet believe me attacking Iran is not the answer.By the way, I still think Senator Kerry will win the election.

I'm trying to write a post about Iran & the Nuclear Agency. I just don’t understand why Iran's government doesn't cooperate. I really don’t think we want to be next Iraq. Bush & his teamed made up the story & attacked Iraq & look what's happening there everyday.
By the way, most Iranians like John Kerry to win the election! It is rather strange but over the past few weeks most small talks I have heard was either about the Agency or Bush-Kerry competition to win the election. Most people thinks Bush will win but they admit they like Kerry more. I really don’t see the reason behind; cos I remember clearly Kerry said that Iran has been more dangerous than Iraq or Afghanistan. But maybe it's because it is believed that he is not going to attack Iran while it's a generally accepted fact here that sooner or later Bush will confront Iran if he is elected. However, we are not the ones who has to decide about the election. Americans are to elect their president not us.

So many dreams to follow

When you are standing at the doorway of your life & you don’t know which way to go... when you are left alone & it seems there's nothing left to be done... when you feel you can't go on... just give yourself to the lord's hands & let him take care of you.
& you see that light & you find that still there are dreams to be fulfilled... there are roads to take & there is a destination to get to. Just give yourself to the power of His will & follow where the light leads you.... May He take your hand & guide your through that doorway to eternal happiness of being His beloved child.

Wow it's been a while...

Hi... hello? Any body out there remember me? ... Good! I shall be proud of myself!
Hey I'm back & it's the most beautiful season over here... yeah, it's fall! Life is going on really fine & hmmm I think I'm in love! Yes! It feels good to be in love though I still hadn't found that someone I'm in love with (!); yet it doesn't matter does it?You know I figured autumns gets me going a bit crazy.... It looks like that I feel this urge to walk through the neighborhood & smile @ everybody. Or I just want to smell the air & get drunk by the sweet faineance of falling leaves. & to be honest I often find myself dancing down the road while I go for a walk....
Well, I spend the last week of summer over the west side of Iran & I still think about the misty road we passed by. There is such a mystery in that road that almost gets you overwhelmed. While the car is going higher & higher to the peak of the mountain, you sit there very alert & expect something to jump out of mist & draw you to the myth world of Arash....
Had I ever told you about Arash? He is a mythic bowman... & Mr. Kassraie had that myth developed into a poem...: once upon a time Iran had been attacked by Tooran* & Tooranians had obliged a discreditable contract on Iran: the boarder line would be located with an arrow; a bowman had to throw an arrow... the furthest the arrow flew, the largest our country. So Arash the bowman went high on the Damavand Peak (the highest mountain in Iran) & he prayed hard & with the first rays of light stretched his bow... he put all his strength in the arrow & threw it.... the horsemen who was riding after the arrow found it the day after next in a walnut tree over the east part of Iran (in Sistan). Arash's body was never found. He had dedicated his life to the freedom of Iran. It is believed that Arash's soul help the lost travelers in the Alborz Chain Mountains.
*(Tooran is the mysterious & imaginary country in our mythological stories which had been our enemy & often defeated by us.)
I wish you could have read the poem in Persian.... it always make me really emotional. & there is verse about the time Arash heads toward the peak after looking back for the last time at the town where everybody is waiting for his success:
Which roar is falling down on the mountain?
Which song can ever make the sound of the footsteps heading dominantly toward the nonexistence?
I always cry over this part. No matter what others say this is the best part.... when I read it I can hear his footsteps clearly... I feel the morning breeze on my face & I know he is never to come back & I believe he lives eternally in the stones of Alborz.... I don’t remember what I was saying anymore. I keep thinking if I had the choice of saving my country by giving up my life would I have done it? Would I have throw the arrow & become immortal like Arash? Or would it look like a stupid act to me?It's autumn here & everything is so fine.... & I'm in love with that unknown knight who exist in my dreams & there is nothing going wrong....& yeah... I am back!

Yeah... & I'm here kicking & alive, safe & sound! What had happened? Nothing... my PC died! & I mean it! At first my monitor started blinking & went pale & paler till she passed out completely. Then when her doctor saved her life (!) & she got back home, my keyboard died out of a heart attack or something like that. What's more I just didn’t have time to go to a net-café & even check my mails! So it took me this long to update.... I'm still having problems at home so don’t you worry if I didn’t get to update real soon.
& my first paycheck went for the repairman bill! What a nice timing of my PC to go out of order huh?
'K! Must head back home to correct the papers.... the term will be over next Thursday....
Aha yes the newest idiom of my students: bear is a pet animal who sings tweet tweet! & there is more of them on the way....

Isn't it Nice

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He is a friend

What can I say? I know this guy... he has been my friend for the past couple of year. Gosh this is so hard but I need to get this out...
I know he is feeling more than just friends for me, although he never expresses his feelings. He is so obvious that almost everybody knows about his little crush. He always puts on the charm when I am around & being my close friend he knows what I like in a man &... well, you name it, he acts like the dream man & it's fake!
He is too concerned about my health that he checks on me every so on. & if he figures I don’t feel well... then he would not stop until I meet my doctor, always making sure I get the best place when we are going out.... I don’t know all these little stuffs.
He is a good friend, a very good friend indeed! He has always been there for me. He has been a shoulder to cry on, a charmer, & a joker when I needed to laugh! I know.... but the point is I don’t feel anything even near romance for him. I tried my best to start loving him back... but simply I couldn’t. I love him as a friend & I don’t want to lose him.
I'm trying hard to make him understand this. Yet he doesn’t get the signs. & even a little interest from my side would make him become firmer in his feelings (whatever it is). I don’t want to lead him on. He is much better than to be played with & God knows I care for him & I don’t know what I can do to stop him from getting hurt.
I know I promised to write about movies but I needed to write this. Maybe he would read this.... I'm just hopeless & every time he calls I'm afraid he might confess his feelings. & every time we want to go out I plan that someone be around & we would never be alone. Lord help me with this one....

Watching movies in Tehran...

Unlike other countries, going to a movie hall is not very popular between Iranians. Most people I know prefer to watch a DVD at home than to go to the movies. It's cheaper; & more comfortable. Still, this doesn’t mean that we don’t watch movies.
A movie hall is a cool place to hang out for a while. Most young couples find movie halls a good place for spending some time together, holding hands &.... but I must admit that I really don’t like to go to a movie hall with my gang; to be honest, we are so noisy & loud that we often get some hushes during the movie.
Movie theaters over here are not very cozy & facilitated. This could be a reason that folks don’t like to spend their time there. Most of the time, some thing is wrong or out of order. Another reason could be the fact that the price is a bit high. & of course folks choose to watch a movie at home when they can pay one-tenth of the price for a better movie....
Yet, when a good movie like MARMOOLAK (the lizard) is released, you must book your seats a weak ahead if you don’t want to miss it; alright at least if you want to watch it a good movie hall.
Farhang is one of the best movie halls over here in Tehran. It had been renovated & refurnished. The movie hall is very friendly & welcoming & another point that makes it popular is the fact that you can watch latest foreign (English & non-English) movies in their original languages (Which is a very important factor for me when I choose a movie). Farhang is located on SHARIATI Street, north of Tehran.
Another movie hall that I might choose is ESTEGHLAL, which is located in Vali-Asr Street. & as I think about it more, ASR JADID in TALEGHANI Street is another movie hall I would recommend.
Now, enough about movie halls remind me to write more on movies next time.

Vowels in Farsi

In Farsi we don’t have vowels. We have some symbols to indicate the sound of them but it is not usually written in a text. & only first-graders use those symbols; so most of my students thought that using A, E or I is not necessary.... it took me some time to teach them to write the letters properly. Last time they had diction I reminded them to "use the vowels". The result was good except one of my students who wrote the Farsi symbols instead of the letters!

My cute student

I was teaching "can" & "can't" to my students the other day. & there was a gorgeous 10-year old girl in the class; she looks like a model even now. Well, I asked her "can you walk?" & guess what she answered!
"Yes, I cat walk."
& ever since then, every time I look at her I see her in a cat suit modeling!

A friend of mine passed away...

I'm still in a shock.... she died in a car accident with her husband. & I think how fate can do this to the most perfect, in-love couple. How this could happen to people with so many dreams yet to be accomplished? I'll be alright in a while; my friends will be alright too. But their parents will never be the same again. I wish there could be something to be done. I wish this pain could subsided, that the wound of loss could be healed